


Words are Hard to Say

by MeganRachel09



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: AU, F/M, High School, everlark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 11:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganRachel09/pseuds/MeganRachel09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss has never had a talent for speaking, but for action. When her inadequacy with words jeopardizes her relationship with her best friend, Peeta, she has to figure out how to express the words that are hard to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

Peeta Mellark looked up from the textbook on his desk where he sat doing his homework, pausing long enough to shoot an annoyed glare in his best friend's direction. Katniss Everdeen lay sideways on Peeta's bed, her head propped up at an odd angle against the wall, her messy, dark braid falling over her left shoulder to rest in the valley between her breasts. She played with the end of her braid with one hand, the other holding her phone above her face, texting, while her feet tapped incessantly on the floor. On her flat stomach, her own calculus book lay face down, her notebook discarded near the headboard. Katniss felt Peeta's gaze on her and turned away from her cell phone to lock pure grey eyes with his blue ones.

"Sorry," she mumbled, her feet immediately going still on the hardwood floor. "I dropped my pencil."

"So pick it up," Peeta suggested and watched as Katniss huffed, rolling her eyes as she tossed her textbook and phone down on his bed and got up to retrieve her pencil, all traces of apology wiped from her expression as she waved the instrument in Peeta's general direction and flopped back down on his mattress.

Satisfied, Peeta turned his attention back to his own textbook. He managed to solve two more mildly difficult problems before he heard a repetitive thumping behind him. Clenching his jaw, he glanced over his shoulder to see Katniss lying on her stomach, her pencil tapping over and over on the textbook that was open where his pillow usually lay. His breath caught in his chest when he saw that she had his pillow wedged between her breasts and his mattress for cushioning as she attempted to concentrate on her homework.

Jesus Christ, her tits were on his pillow. Peeta felt his face grow warm as he stared at the surface upon which he rested his head at night. His face had been where her tits were currently. His face would touch that same surface in just a few hours' time. His cock twitched in his jeans at the thought. He couldn't stop his mind running away from him, imagining Katniss's tits in his face; he had to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to keep from moaning at the mere thought.

This was his best friend, for Panem's sake! He really couldn't act on these bizarre lustful thoughts he had been enduring increasingly for the past few months! Her tits weren't even that great anyway, he told himself. They were kind of small. He could probably cover them completely with his hands. God, that actually sounded hot. Unlike when Glimmer had let him take her shirt off and touch her chest last summer. Her tits were huge and in his face. They didn't even fit in his hands and he didn't know what to do with them at the time except touch. Katniss, though, her boobs seemed kind of perfect now. He could imagine all kinds of things to do with them because they just seemed so... great. Plus, he had read somewhere that all breasts, regardless of size, had the same number of nerve endings so hers were probably way more sensitive than Glimmer's, or even Delly's, for that matter, not that he had ever touched his oldest friend's tits or even wanted to, but he had definitely noticed them. He was a guy and they were tits; how could he not notice them?

But he couldn't help but admit to himself that he really did want to touch Katniss's boobs. And lick them, and suck on them, and oh God he really needed to stop this train of thought because he was well past a semi and developing a full-blown boner now.

He shifted in his chair and then stilled as Katniss began to hum to herself. He hoped that if he was quiet enough she would forget where she was and actually start singing. She had always hated singing in front of anyone but her little sister, but Peeta loved the sound of her voice. He choked as he thought the word, love, and his eyes widened.

Did he love Katniss? No, she was just lying in his bed with her perfect tits on his pillow and, being the horny teenage boy he was, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He was attracted to her, sure, that was something he had never even really tried to deny to himself, but that was it... wasn't it?

Peeta didn't even realize he was staring at Katniss as he tried to make sense of all that was going through his mind until Katniss looked up and he found their gazes locked all of a sudden.

He squashed the apology that sprang to his lips, realizing that Katniss wasn't a mind reader. She didn't know what was going through his mind and he was determined that she wouldn't figure it out. Still, he was confused when she apologized to him. He looked at her, questioning, and her eyebrows drew together.

"Am I bothering you again?"

Peeta didn't know what she meant. The only thing that was bothering him at the moment was the boner he needed to figure out how to get rid of. While she was indeed the cause of that, he didn't think that was what she was referring to when she asked if she was bothering him. He realized that she had dropped her pencil again and remembered her tapping and humming. He shook his head.

"Then why are you staring at me?" Katniss asked. Peeta was at a loss for how to explain himself. "You're looking at me like I grew a third head and I don't even have a second one, so it's extra weird."

"Sorry," Peeta said, his voice coming out gruffer than he intended it to because he was so turned on. He cleared his throat and shrugged. "Just bored."

"So you decided to stare at me?" Katniss said skeptically. "Creeper."

Peeta flashed her a quick grin and spoke without thinking. "You're way more interesting to look at than derivatives."

He panicked the second the words left his mouth, wishing for nothing more than the ability to take back what he had just said. That seemed kind of flirty to him. He was sure Katniss would bolt as soon as she realized. He watched her closely for her reaction.

For a moment, she just stared at him, then the corners of her mouth turned up in one of her rare, full smiles, the one that made the corners of her eyes crinkle. She rolled her eyes and snorted, but the smile remained.

"You really are bored," she said. "Finally. I am so over calculus right now."

She turned her attention back to her homework just long enough to slide her notebook inside her textbook and close the cover. She pushed her textbook steadily to the side of the bed until it fell to the floor with a loud thud, then rolled over onto her back, pulling the pillow up under her head again as she scooted closer to the wall before turning to look at Peeta expectantly.

He had to work to keep his expression neutral when he realized that Katniss wanted him to join her on his bed. When he didn't move from his desk, Katniss patted the spot next to her.

Peeta gulped harshly and turned his head to face his homework, picking up his pencil quickly.

"Just let me finish this problem I'm on," he said, hoping his voice didn't sound as nervous as he felt. Katniss sighed, but agreed and Peeta made random marks in his notebook as he worked to rid himself of his boner.

He thought of his dad in the living room downstairs, but that did nothing to help him. The idea of fooling around with Katniss while his family was nearby was actually kind of hot. He recalled his older brothers, Ryan and Brandon, giving him all kinds of unwanted and unnecessary pointers on how to please a girl before his first date with Clove, more than two years ago, but that just made him wonder what it would be like to try some of their suggestions out on Katniss. He shook his head and thought of the bakery and the heat from the ovens that always made him miserable and sweaty, but then he imagined Katniss in the back with him, naked and sweaty and lying across one of the cool steel tables as he kissed and licked and nipped her sweat-slicked skin. He gulped and bit his lip, his gaze dropping to his lap, where his boner was even more evident than before, a definite outline of his cock clearly visible through his jeans.

As a last resort, he turned his thoughts to his birth mother, the cruel woman who had beaten him for no reason for years before his father discovered her wielding a wooden rolling pin and beating him with it one afternoon when Peeta was ten, thinking her husband was down at the bakery. That was the first his father had learned of his wife beating his youngest son and he had wasted no time in kicking the woman out of his house and drawing up the legal documents that would end their fifteen year marriage and ensure the safety of his three precious boys.

"So bored," Katniss said in a singsong voice, pulling Peeta back to the present. He glanced at her over his shoulder and nodded his head to let her know he was coming, then turned his gaze back to his lap. He sure hated to think about his mother, but remembering her never failed to get an unwanted erection under control. This time was no different. He sighed and lay down his pencil before closing his textbook and standing up.

In an attempt to be nonchalant and disguise the fact that he had just been thinking of the abuse he had received as a child in order to hide the evidence of the fact that he had been previously thinking of Katniss in a way he was pretty sure she wouldn't approve of, he dived onto his bed, purposely jostling her. Katniss' protests were drowned out by the sound of his bed frame groaning under his sudden weight and the headboard slamming into the wall. Once the ruckus died down, everything was silent for a moment before Katniss turned to scowl at him.

"Great, now your family is going to think we're fooling around."

Peeta's eyes widened and he felt his cheeks redden as his blood started to rush south again. He dragged his feet up the bed towards his ass, his knees pointing towards the ceiling in an attempt to hide himself if he couldn't get this under control again.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Katniss laughed. He turned his head to look at her and couldn't keep his gaze from falling to her chest which was more exposed than usual as her shirt had been pulled down when she was lying on her stomach, he guessed. He could just see the edge of her white bra sticking out past the low neckline and he noticed for the first time the way her chest jiggled when she laughed. Truthfully, he probably would have noticed ages ago had he been in a position to before, but this was the first time he had ever been THIS close to Katniss.

"I was kidding," she forced out through her laughter. "Unless you're a two-pump chump, that noise ended way too quickly for anyone to think anything of it."

Peeta's face grew warm again and he scoffed. "No way! I'm the stamina king!"

Katniss scoffed and turned on her side to look at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Okay, Mr. Super Stamina Man. I know the truth about you."

"Oh? And what's that?" Peeta asked, mimicking her position. Katniss smirked at him and patted him on the cheek roughly. "Ow!"

"The truth is," Katniss said, ignoring his pained protest as she leaned closer to him, lowering her voice to a whisper, "you're a virgin."

Peeta leaned back and glared at her. "So what? You are too!"

"I know! Nothing wrong with still being a virgin... unless Johanna's talking," Katniss said and Peeta agreed. If their school had a virginity club, Johanna Mason would have single-handedly started a Virginity-is-for-Losers club. "I was just saying... Everyone knows that pretty much all guys are two-pump chumps their first couple times."

"I won't be."

"Aww, think you'll make it all the way to three?"

"Shut up, Everdeen."

"Make me, Mellark."

Peeta's eyes widened as he realized that Katniss was suddenly very, very close to him. Inches away, really. He could see each individual eyelash and every tiny freckle dotting her somewhat crooked nose. He wondered if she had moved towards him on purpose because he knew for a fact that he hadn't budged, not even on accident as he was practically on the edge of the bed. In fact, he could feel the edge of his bedside table pressing against his back between his shoulder blades.

Katniss raised her eyebrows. Peeta blinked. When he opened his eyes, she was rolling over onto her back, squished up against his wall again. He had room to move. His heart sank. He didn't want room to move. He wanted Katniss' face in his, her chest almost flush against him.

He scooted towards the middle of the bed and rolled onto his back as well. His arm brushed against hers. Katniss' fingers twitched against his and Peeta rolled his neck to look at her. She was staring at the ceiling again, but her pinky hooked around his. Peeta's heart hammered against his chest as he closed his hand into a fist, effectively trapping her pinky. She glanced over at him, sinking her teeth lightly into her bottom lip, and Peeta wondered if he should kiss her, if she wanted him to kiss her.

Katniss' gaze flickered to his lips and Peeta smiled. He should definitely kiss her. He was leaning in, or at least thinking about leaning in -he wasn't sure if his body had actually started to move towards her yet- when his bedroom door opened. Peeta released Katniss' finger and angled his torso away from hers immediately to look at his father standing in the doorway. He felt the bed shift as Katniss did the same.

"I've got to run to the bakery for a couple hours. Monte's wife went into labor, and he can't manage the bakery from the hospital," Peeta's father said, his gaze sweeping over, but not lingering on, the two teenagers lying on the bed.

"Need help?" Peeta asked, already sitting up. He didn't know why he was eager to get out of this situation, but he kind of hoped his dad did want him to accompany him to the bakery.

"No, I think I can handle it," his dad joked. "I did start the business all on my own. I remember how everything works. Will you be okay here? Your brothers are out."

"I'm seventeen, Dad. I think I can handle being home alone for a few hours," Peeta said, mimicking his father's statement.

"Not alone," his dad said, looking at Katniss. Peeta glanced over his shoulder to see that Katniss had sat up as well and was now sitting cross-legged in the center of the bed watching the exchange between father and son with what looked like amusement but could also have been discomfort. He looked back at his father, who had returned his gaze to Peeta and was watching him with one eyebrow raised.

"Well, no," Peeta mumbled, willing his face not to flush as his father stared at him. "We'll be fine."

"Okay, well," Mr. Mellark said, "call me if you need anything."

"Same goes for you, Dad."

"I'll be home in a couple hours. Nice to see you again, Katniss," Mr. Mellark said, pausing to shoot a serious warning look at his son before he began to edge out the door.

"Bye, Mr. Mellark," Katniss said as he disappeared from view.

Peeta listened as his father's footsteps retreated down the stairs. He waited until he heard keys jingling and the front door opening before he looked at Katniss again.

"So, um." He cleared his throat and stood up, turning to face her more fully. "What do you want to do now?"

"What was wrong with what we were doing before?"

You mean getting ready to make out, he wanted to say, but wasn't at all sure if that was what they had been gearing up for so he stayed silent and tried to think of something better to say.

Before Peeta had the chance to figure it out, Katniss sighed and scooted to the edge of the mattress before hopping to her feet. She stood in front of him and met his gaze. "Let's just go watch TV?" she suggested.

Peeta felt like he was disappointing her even as he agreed with her suggestion, nodding uncertainly.

"Living room?" Katniss asked unnecessarily, already brushing past him to leave the room. She paused at the door and turned around to look at him where he stood still in the center of his bedroom, enjoying watching her go far too much. "Coming?"

Peeta cleared his throat and nodded vigorously, hoping to hide the fact that he had been checking her out. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming."


	2. 2

She wanted his mouth on her, and his hands. She wanted to feel his whole body pressing against hers, matching her inch for inch. She wanted to taste him and smell him and get lost in sensation with him, because of him. She just didn't know how to ask for any of it.

Katniss had been trying to hint to Peeta that she wanted him to kiss her for what felt like months now, ever since he had broken up with his last girlfriend, Leevy. She wore lower-cut T-shirts in the hopes that he would notice and want to touch her as much as she wanted him too, as much as she wanted to touch him in turn. She thought he liked her; he was certainly hanging out with her more now than he ever had before.

They had been friends in elementary school, but grew closer after his parents' divorce seven years ago and they had quickly become best friends. That had been great at first, before Peeta started filling out his T-shirts a little more, before those ridiculously attractive golden hairs had started sprouting on his face, before she started undergoing changes as well. For the past three years she had been looking at him differently, trying to hide her longing for him, but she was tired of hiding. She didn't want to have to suffer through another one of Peeta's stupid short-lived relationships with one of the bitches they went to school with.

It was one thing when he had started going out with Clove. That was before Katniss had admitted to herself that she liked him. Of course, she had still hated the girl with every fiber of her being. Only later did she wonder if she might resent Clove more for having been Peeta's first kiss than for any other reason. Katniss had kissed Finnick Odair, one of Peeta's best friends, as a sort of revenge when she discovered that Peeta had kissed Clove, but that hadn't gone anywhere because it was Finnick. While he was arguably the most attractive boy at their school, maybe even in the state, he wasn't the boy she really wanted and she wasn't the girl he wanted.

When Peeta and Clove broke up, Katniss was forced to acknowledge, at least to herself, that she liked him when the first thought that crossed her mind was, maybe he'll ask me out now. But then he had started dating Glimmer Richards. For the longest time, she had been convinced that Peeta was sleeping with her because Glimmer was known to be easy and Peeta was sixteen, so of course he was constantly thinking about sex. But when they had broken up, Peeta had gotten drunk at a party at Johanna's house and cornered Katniss outside of the bathroom. She had thought, maybe this time he'll ask me out. Only, he just wanted to make sure she knew that he hadn't slept with Glimmer.

"She's such a slut, Katnissh. You know. Like, she always wanted… she wanted to… she wanted sex. We were gonna. I mean, of course I wanted to. But then she slept with stupid Cato, so I dumped her. Good riddance," he had breathed in her face and Katniss had turned her head away from his whiskey breath so his next words were spoken in his gruff, drunk voice directly in her ear, making her shiver and tingle all over. "Katnissh, don't let me date anyone like that again, okay? Next time, I'll go for someone like you."

Someone like you. At the time, the words had caused a thrill to rush over her, but later that night when she was reliving the moment, she realized his unspoken words. Someone like you, but not you.

So she had started dating Gale Hawthorne, a boy two years older than her who lived near her and who had been hitting on Katniss for over a year at that point. They had lasted a few months, before concluding that maybe they should try the friendship angle rather than the relationship angle, and she and Peeta were both free agents again.

Then he had started dating Leevy Johnson, who was an even bigger bitch than Glimmer Richards, if that was even possible. Leevy had always hated Katniss, which only made it easier for Katniss to hate her in return. She had monopolized Peeta's time, as girlfriends are wont to do, but Katniss was convinced that Leevy was purposely standing in the way of Katniss and Peeta's friendship, trying to drive a stake between them. It had worked for the seven-month span of their relationship, but the night he broke up with Leevy, Peeta called Katniss and asked her to hang out at his house.

They had talked for hours, catching up on everything, and Peeta had apologized for not being there for her as much as he should have been. Katniss hated herself for it, but when he drove her home that night, she had thought, Kiss me, kiss me. I don't care that you were still in a relationship less than six hours ago. Kiss me.

He hadn't, and she had been disappointed, but at least they were still best friends. That attitude, the gratefulness that she still had his friendship, had lasted all of a month before she started to resent him for his determination to not see her as a suitable candidate for a girlfriend. So she had begun to devise a plan to change his perception of her, to make him realize that she was dateable, damn it. More, that he wanted to date her. For the past month, she had been working hard to do just that.

She was certain that she had almost accomplished her goal. In fact, just a few minutes ago, she had been sure that Peeta was finally going to kiss her when they were lying close together in his bed. She had tried to do what Johanna had told her, to draw attention to her mouth by biting her lip and she had gone a step further by letting her gaze fall obviously to his mouth. He had been leaning in, she was almost sure of it, when his father interrupted and the moment was lost. It would have been cute how flustered Peeta had gotten, if it hadn't led to where they were now: sitting on opposite ends of the giant overstuffed couch in his living room watching _Cake Wars_ because there was nothing better on television.

They were alone in his huge, empty house, for Panem's sake, and all he could concentrate on, it seemed, was a baking program. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the TV, angry at the contraption for taking his attention from her. Although she had been the one to suggest watching TV, she hadn't expected to actually watch TV. She had thought, maybe, that being alone in his room was a bit too suggestive for him to handle and that maybe being in the living room would put him more at ease. She feared her plan had worked too well. He was too relaxed and she worried that he had already put their almost-kiss out of his mind.

What would Johanna tell her to do at this point? Probably strip naked and lay in wait for Peeta to fuck her into oblivion, but there was no way she was doing that. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to sleep with him… yet. However, she was sure that she didn't want to sit innocently with him on his father's couch watching _Cake Wars_. She had to do something.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and pulled up the group message she had going with Johanna and Madge. While Johanna was all for bold moves and sexuality, Madge was significantly more conservative, so Katniss figured she should shoot for somewhere in the middle ground between what her two closest girl friends suggested.

Her fingers slid quickly on the glass screen, tapping out a quick message.

_Close, but no action yet. Survey: Should I move in on him, or would more hinting be better?_

Almost immediately, Johanna's response popped up: _MAKE THE MOVE, DAMN IT. Shirt off should do it!_

Before Katniss could deign to tell Johanna that there was no way in hell she was just whipping her shirt off in the Mellarks' living room, Madge replied: _Depends. What do you mean by close?_

Katniss bit her lip and glanced at Peeta, whose eyes were still glued to the television. She sighed quietly and quickly tapped out the details.

_We were on his bed, pinkies hooked, and I did the mouth thing. He started to lean in, but his dad interrupted us. Then he got all nervous and now we're watching freaking Cake Wars._

Katniss settled back into the arm of the couch as she awaited their reactions. She watched Peeta out of the corner of her eye and had the distinct impression that he was doing the same. Her phone vibrated in her hand and Madge's name popped up: _AWWW! That's cute. Sorry about the interruption, though._

Three little dots in the corner of the chat screen told her that Madge was typing again when Johanna's message came through: _PINKIES?! Elementary. Grab his junk. That'll get your message across!_

Katniss rolled her eyes and replied with a simple: _Predictable as ever, Jo._

_It sounds like he likes you, but he's nervous to make a move and upset you or risk ruining your friendship. Maybe you should talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. He would probably appreciate a little straightforwardness._

Her heart pounded in her chest just at the thought of taking Madge's advice. Joking around with Peeta, teasing him, that was one thing. But to talk to him about her feelings, to put herself on the line like that? No way could she possibly do that. When she tried to talk about real matters like her feelings, she always managed to get her words all twisted and screw everything up. Before she could try to explain that to Madge, Johanna did it for her.

_You expect Everdeen to talk about her feelings? Come on, get real. She's a woman of action, not of words. Mellark's a dude. No matter how much he may like to talk, I guarantee he'll appreciate a little action._

Katniss thought about it. While Madge probably had a point about Peeta not wanting to ruin their friendship or not being sure how she felt, Johanna's message had some merit to it as well. If Peeta was unsure if she wanted him to kiss her, kissing him first would be the perfect way to get that message across. At the same time, if he was afraid to ruin their friendship, her kissing him would hopefully tell him that she had thought about it and that she wanted it and maybe they shouldn't just be friends anyway!

As she thought it through, Madge texted back: _Fine, Jo. But I really don't think she should just rip off her clothes and shove her hand between his legs. That might be coming on a bit strong, don't you think?_

She had a point. Not that Katniss had been considering doing that, anyway. Johanna's response didn't surprise her: _FINE. Be boring. But I'll have you know, that method has gotten me laid several times. What do you suggest, Miss Proper?_

Yeah, Madge, Katniss thought. What do you suggest? At least Johanna was offering advice, as much as Katniss knew she would never follow it. All Madge was doing was shooting her down.

_I don't know! Gosh, if you really don't want to talk to him about it, just kiss him. You're right about that, Jo. I'm sure he would appreciate being relieved of the responsibility of making the first move._

Katniss once again saw the three little dots that told her that both Johanna and Madge were typing, but she had a sudden rush of adrenaline that had her typing out a quick reply. _Survey says: I'm gonna kiss this fool._

She pressed send and tossed her phone on the couch next to her, heaving a great, loud sigh that had Peeta glancing over at her from the opposite end of the couch.

"Okay?" he asked, watching as she shrugged and scooted closer to him.

"Yeah," she said on another sigh. "Just Madge and Jo being annoying, as usual."

Katniss hesitated for a moment before moving right next to him and throwing her legs over his lap. Her heart was racing and she worried for a moment that he would hear it.

"Oh," he said. For a moment, he looked down at her legs before putting his hands on them nonchalantly. "What's up with them?"

"Eh, nothing, really. Just the usual stuff," she said, her voice catching as Peeta's fingers drifted upwards on her thigh. He glanced up into her face, his cheeks turning slightly pink, as he stilled his hands. Katniss cleared her throat and rested her chin on Peeta's shoulder, staring into his eyes as he turned his head to the side to watch her. Their noses were inches apart; Katniss felt her blood pounding in her ears. "Jo's talking about sex, of course, and Madge is talking about feelings."

"Ah. Two things with which you have no experience. No wonder you're annoyed with them," Peeta teased, hooking his hands around the side of her outer leg and pulling her legs further into his lap.

"I have feelings," Katniss whispered, her heart pounding in her chest as she placed one hand on Peeta's muscular forearm and felt the muscles under his skin jump at the contact. She sent him a ghost of a smile as she trailed her other hand up his arm to rest on the back of his neck, her fingers curling upward into his soft curls.

Peeta opened his mouth to respond, but seemed to lose his train of thought when Katniss started tracing patterns on his skin with the hand on his arm. Katniss smiled and licked her lips when a shudder tore through Peeta's body. His gaze fell to her lips and Katniss took a deep breath.

"Do you really want to watch this?" she asked, her eyes flicking to the TV.

Without taking his eyes off of her, Peeta shook his head. "I can bake circles around these idiots," he said quietly. Katniss didn't think she was imagining his voice taking on a low, seductive tone. In any other circumstance, she would have made fun of him for trying to use his baking skills to seduce a girl, but at the moment, it just made her heart beat faster.

She contemplated waiting for Peeta to do it, to kiss her first, but then she thought back to not even an hour before, how she had been so certain he was going to do it only to be completely let down when he didn't. Her last text to her friends flashed through her mind and she grinned, lunging her upper body forward. Her hands came down from his hair and up from his arm to rest on either side of his square jaw as she laid her lips over his. She was pure adrenaline; her entire body was humming with it.

Peeta grunted in surprise, but met her kiss enthusiastically, molding their mouths firmly together as his left hand came up to cradle the back of her head and pull her closer. His other hand drifted higher up her leg, squeezing her thigh gently.

Katniss pulled back after a moment and opened her eyes to see Peeta's eyelids fluttering open dazedly. She studied his face carefully, not allowing her smile to form past that ghost of a smile Peeta always teased her about in case he didn't enjoy the kiss as much as she had; maybe he thought kissing her was weird. When the left corner of his mouth turned up in his signature shy smile, Katniss grinned, ecstatic, and straddled his lap.

She clasped her hands behind the back of his neck and drew his mouth back up to hers as Peeta's hands came to rest on her waist just above the line of her jeans. Peeta groaned and his grip on her tightened when she took his bottom lip between hers and pulled it into her mouth. When she closed her teeth around the supple flesh, something within him broke.

He turned to the side and pushed her down on the couch so that she was on her back, then covered her body with his, his hips lining up perfectly with hers. When Peeta's tongue pried her lips apart, Katniss opened up to him and had to hold on to his hips to ground herself when he licked his way inside her mouth, eagerly probing and exploring this new and foreign territory. He swept his tongue over the hard ridge near the roof of her mouth and Katniss moaned. Peeta's answering groan shot straight through her mouth to her groin and she whimpered.

She was nothing but sensation now, and all he had done was kiss her. She could only imagine how she would react if they ever had sex. When they had sex, because Katniss was pure confidence at that moment. He felt for her what she felt for him; his kiss said it all. It was utter passion. They would be inseparable after this. He would finally, finally, ask her out. She could laugh with relief if her mouth wasn't otherwise occupied.

Large, warm, gentle hands settled on her wrists, pulling them away from his sides and up above her head before trailing down, down, down her arms, just barely brushing against the sides of her breasts which were humming with nervous, elated, excited energy on their way down her torso to her hips. His hands hooked around the backs of her hips, pulling her up so her knees pointed toward the ceiling, rising over him. Her legs fell open and his hips settled more firmly against hers. When she felt his long, thick hardness against her thigh, she instinctively jerked her hips up toward it. Peeta's head lifted from hers as he inhaled on a long hiss before grinding his erection into her again.

Katniss' brain went fuzzy as a desperate, animalistic sound escaped her. She shifted her hips up again as her hands shot out to grab Peeta by the jaw and yank him back down to her. She wasted no time in probing her way into his mouth. Her tongue swept over the line of his perfectly straight teeth before sliding along his tongue. Peeta closed his lips around her tongue and sucked on her lightly as his hands trailed upwards, brushing the sides of her ass before slipping under the hem of her T-shirt. He stroked his hands along her stomach as his mouth released the pressure on her tongue.

Following the retreat of Katniss' tongue, Peeta laid a series of soft pecks on her lips before he worked his way back into her mouth. He swept his tongue along hers once before he retreated, then entered again to stroke her, retreated and repeated the process over and over. When Katniss realized that his tongue was mimicking and matching the movement of their hips thrusting against each other, a deep, aroused shudder rippled through her body and she thrust her hands up under the back of his shirt, pulling his chest down to hers as a short, high-pitched moan escaped her throat. He was tongue-fucking her mouth.

He pulled his hands out of her shirt and brought them to rest on her chest as his lips left hers and began to trail kisses down her jaw to the side of her neck. He found the spot just below her left ear that made her shudder and mumble nonsensical words and spent several long moments laving attention there before moving on down her neck. He used his lips, tongue and teeth to kiss, lick and nip his way to the dip in her V-neck. His tongue trailed the edge of her shirt before he lifted his head to look at her.

Half out of her mind with need, Katniss placed her hands on Peeta's shoulders and shoved him. Obeying her wordless command, Peeta rose to his knees above her. Katniss leaned up just far enough to catch the hem of her shirt with her hands and pulled it up and over her head. She tossed it over the back of the couch before returning her hands to Peeta's sides, shoving them under his shirt again and giving him a light tug back toward her.

Peeta hesitated for a long second before reaching over his head to grasp the back of his T-shirt and yank it over his head. He tossed it off in the same direction Katniss had tossed hers. He allowed her a moment to admire his toned torso and run her hands along his perpetually warm, pale flesh before he lowered himself back on top of her.

Peeta groaned his relief when they were once again pressed flush to one another, skin to skin, their hips flattening together once more. Katniss turned her head to catch his lips, sinking her teeth into his bottom lip as her hands explored the newly revealed flesh of his back. Peeta lifted his torso away from her to reach his hands between their bodies so he could fondle her cloth-covered breasts and Katniss sighed as she trailed her hands around to the front of him, scratching her short fingernails lightly against the muscled ridges of his abdomen.

"Katniss," Peeta whispered gruffly as he kneaded her breasts through her bra.

"Peeta," she breathed, latching onto his neck with her mouth. She tasted salt on his skin and sank her teeth into the flesh connecting his neck and shoulder. Peeta's hips jerked forward violently in surprise as he groaned and a delicious jolt of energy shot through Katniss' groin to the rest of her body as her breath caught in her throat.

 _Do that again,_ she wanted to beg.

Her hands trailed up from his abdomen to rest over his chest, her fingers scraping over his pebbled nipples.

"Katniss," Peeta repeated, lowering his forehead to the couch next to her head.

Katniss realized that he was actually trying to talk to her when he withdrew his hands from her chest. She turned her head to the side to see that his face was deeply flushed and his eyes were shut tight like he was in pain. For a moment, she wondered if he had accidentally reached orgasm and was embarrassed, but his hips were still flush against hers and she could feel his hard, hot desire for her as clearly as she could feel her own slick desire for him pooling between her legs.

She trailed her hands back down his torso to grip his hips as she planted a soft kiss high on his cheekbone. Peeta let his chest collapse down on top of her so that his full weight rested on her and Katniss smiled as he opened his eyes, turning his head to look at her.

"What is this?" he whispered, his eyes displaying his overwhelming lust, but also confusion and something Katniss thought might be fear.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly, stroking his soft blond curls.

"What brought this on?" Peeta asked, his voice barely a whisper as his hands squeezed her waist gently.

Katniss was silent as she thought of how to answer. She could tell him that she had liked him for years and had finally decided that tonight was the night that their relationship had to make the leap from friendship to romance, but she worried that he didn't want to hear that. She searched his eyes, but found no hint at what he wanted her to say, just saw the lust, confusion and that unnerving fear.

She had no clue what to say, so she grinned and resorted to something she would have said when they were just friends, because they were surely more than that now, weren't they?

"I was bored."

Peeta stared at her for a moment before his expression fell. He nodded as he tried to school his features to hide his disappointment, but Katniss' heart constricted and she followed him up as he rose to his knees over her again. Her hands went to his biceps as she tried to steady him over her and keep him from standing, from leaving her.

"Wait. No, I mean…" she didn't know what to say to correct her mistake because she didn't understand why what she had said was so wrong.

Peeta's eyes searched her face before he nodded again and pulled out of her reach, standing and walking around the couch to retrieve their shirts.

He cleared his throat as he held her T-shirt out to her. She looked up into his face, panting not with arousal anymore, but with pure anguish. She didn't know how, but she knew she had just ruined their friendship.

"You should probably get home now," he said softly as he pulled his shirt over his head and made his way towards the stairs without looking at her again. "I'll get your stuff."

Katniss' eyes swam with confused tears as she watched him walk slowly, dejectedly up the stairs. Next to her, her phone vibrated. Numb with shock and confusion, she picked it up and swiped her finger across the screen to pull up her chat with Johanna and Madge, who had continued to text her while she had been making out with Peeta.

_OMG. REALLY?!_

_YES. Finally. Your sexual tension has been affecting us all._

_Katniss?_

_Everdeen. OMG. You're doing it._

_KATNISS AND PEETA ARE MAKING OUT YES OMG._

_Get it, Everdeen. You dirty little girl._

_Y'ALL ARE GONNA GET MARRIED SO HARD._

God, Madge. We're talking about physical connections here, not emotional ones.

_Details, Katniss. We need details._

_Katniss?_

_Dude, are y'all boning? This is a long first kiss._

_JOHANNA!_

_You were thinking it, Madge._

_Still._

The final message from Johanna, which had just come through, read: _But, Everdeen, just for the record, I'm with Madge. WE NEED DETAILS. ASAP._

Katniss stared blankly at her phone, which swam in her vision. Her fingers hovered over the screen, but she had no words to inform them of the disastrous results of her actions, so she clicked the button to lock the screen and stood to shove her phone in her pocket as Peeta's heavy footsteps sounded on his way back down the stairs. She took a deep breath and wiped her hands under her eyes, pulling her shirt on over her head as she went to meet him at the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, guys!  
> I hope you enjoyed it and I plan to have chapter three up in the next few days.  
> Follow me on tumblr and talk to me if you like! I'm ilikewatchingyousleep.


	3. 3

"So… she was bored and jumped on your dick? And this upset you because…?"

Peeta spared his best guy friend, Finnick Odair, a glare as he kneaded dough in the bakery before school. When Peeta texted Finnick early that morning saying that he really needed to talk to him, Finnick just showed up at the bakery almost two hours before school started, no questions asked, even though he was a beauty queen who loved his sleep, and started helping with the prep work as they talked. That was one of the best things about Finnick. He was reliable, honest and loyal to a fault. Peeta always knew he could count on him when he needed someone to talk to. Even if he did make inappropriate comments and joke about things that weren't really funny.

"No, I'm actually serious. I don't see what's so bad about that," Finnick said, tossing his reddish-brown hair out of his green eyes with a flick of his neck since he was wrist-deep in bread dough.

Peeta rolled his tense shoulders as he thought about how to reply. "Well…" he trailed off with an uncertain glance in Finnick's direction as Finnick began arranging dough on a tray. "It's just kind of insulting, isn't it?"

"Insulting?" Finnick repeated, dumbfounded, as he wheeled around to face Peeta. "No! It's total flattery. A hot girl who, whether you've admitted it or not, you've been panting after for months would rather dry hump you than do homework or watch TV."

"That's not actually very impressive, Finn. Most people would rather dry hump than do homework and we were just watching  _Cake Wars_. Not exactly riveting stuff," Peeta pointed out, but Finnick did have him wondering – were Katniss' actions really such an affront? "And I haven't been panting after her. She's my best friend."

"That hurts, Peet. I thought I was your best friend," Finnick said, pressing a doughy hand on his heart over his plain black T-shirt. He paused and glanced down at the partial handprint on his chest before shrugging with a small sigh. "But seriously, why are you so upset about this?"

"I don't know!" Peeta exclaimed, kneading the dough in front of him harder in frustration. He stopped and curled his messy hands around the lip of the steel table, letting his shoulders drop and his head hang.

Truth be told, the half-hour make out session with Katniss the night before had been the hottest, most exciting thirty minutes of his teen years, and he had made out for  _hours_ with a couple of his past girlfriends. Finn was right – whether he admitted it or not, he had apparently liked Katniss for a long time. So why had he felt like he'd received a punch to the gut when they stopped?

"I think… It wasn't what she did," he mumbled. Finnick didn't reply, but Peeta heard him go still across the room and imagined that Finnick had turned to look at him. He didn't lift his eyes to make sure, though. "The making out… that was great, you know? It was awesome. I think it was… after."

"What? Was she weirded out?"

Peeta looked up at Finnick then. He shrugged and shook his head briefly. "Nah."

"Well, were you weirded out?" Finnick asked, moving to lean his hips against the edge of the table next to Peeta. "Worried how your friendship would change?"

"No," Peeta said honestly. "I wasn't even thinking about that at that point."

"Well, what happened?"

Peeta hesitated, then returned to kneading the dough in front of him for something to do with his hands as Finnick crossed his arms over his chest and watched him.

"Um. I asked her what brought it on. Why she suddenly wanted to do…  _stuff_ with me, you know?" Peeta said and, since he had looked up to see if Finnick was following him, caught the taller boy rolling his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just obvious why. Has been for years," Finnick said. He didn't elaborate, but gestured with his hands for Peeta to continue.

"Okay. Well, she said she was bored," Peeta finished flatly, watching Finnick closely. The only reaction he got was one raised eyebrow. "Oh, come on. That's insulting, isn't it?"

"In certain circumstances, I suppose it would be insulting," Finnick said drily as he grabbed Peeta's wrist to stop him from over-kneading, scooping up the dough and loading it into a pan. He turned to wash his hands and Peeta huffed his impatience, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Look," Finnick continued as Peeta stepped up to wash his hands and Finnick started loading trays in the oven. "First of all, the fact that you are upset proves that you like her beyond the best friend level, beyond even the friends with benefits level. We're talking real feelings, aren't we?"

Peeta shrugged, then nodded reluctantly as he turned to start unloading trays of muffins from a different oven. "I mean, I guess so. Maybe I've had feelings for her for a while but never let myself realize it."

"I'd say so," Finnick said with a definite nod. "Okay. So, you like her and that's why you're bothered by the idea of her using you for nothing more than entertainment when there's nothing better to do."

"Yeah," Peeta said, wiping his forearm across his brow as he slammed the oven door shut, feeling his frustration mounting.

"But you gotta remember who you were with," Finnick pointed out.

"What the hell are you talking about, Finn?" Peeta snapped. "I was with Katniss. I have never been less than fully aware of that fact."

"Exactly. You were with  _Katniss_ ," Finnick exclaimed, gesticulating animatedly as Peeta started gathering ingredients to make cookies. It was a bit early to start, but he was ahead of schedule thanks to Finnick's help. "Katniss is not exactly skilled at expressing herself."

"We talk all the time," Peeta pointed out through gritted teeth as he measured out ingredients by memory and started to blend them together.

"Yeah, sure, but not about serious things," Finnick said excitedly.

"We've talked about plenty of serious topics, Finn," Peeta said quietly. "We talk about my mom sometimes."

"Okay, but you don't talk about feelings!" Finnick said, not deterred in the slightest as he flicked a wrist carelessly, waving away Peeta's attempt at throwing him off. "Has anyone gotten Katniss to talk about her feelings? Like, ever?"

Peeta paused his movements to contemplate that. While he and Katniss did talk a lot, much of what they said to each other was in the form of sarcastic comments and joking insults. Whereas he had been known to talk to Katniss about his girlfriends and how he felt about them, he couldn't remember Katniss ever talking to him about her boyfriends.

Sure, she had been pretty vocal about her kiss with Finnick a few years ago, but Peeta had always assumed that that was just because it was her first kiss. But he couldn't think about that now because just picturing her lips on Finnick's made him imagine her tangled with the infamous flirt the way she had been with him last night and that had him burning with rage.

When she went out with Gale Hawthorne, she barely wanted to talk about her relationship with him. In fact, Peeta often had to ask leading questions to get any sort of information from her. But what did that really mean? Just that she didn't like to talk about her relationships with Peeta. A relationship  _with_  Peeta, though… She would have to talk to him about that if that was what she wanted, wouldn't she?

"I don't know, Finn," he sighed. "I just… I don't know. It seems safer for me to just assume that she doesn't really feel anything for me. Less painful, in the end."

"Bullshit, man."

"What now?"

"You  _like_  her," Finnick said. "Pretending you don't, and pretending she doesn't like you, too, is just going to hurt you both!"

"Finnick, she was just  _bored_. She said it herself!"

"Maybe she was bored, Peeta! But you don't see her just jumping anyone else when there's nothing better to do!"

"I was there, Finnick! No one else was."

"Yes, you were there. And so was she, by her choice. She chose to be there  _with you_ , and she chose to kiss  _you_. And so what if she was bored, Peeta? Just because she was legitimately bored doesn't mean that she didn't have another, deeper reason for wanting to make out with you."

Peeta stopped in the middle of measuring out cinnamon, looked at the dry and wet ingredients in front of him, and cursed under his breath.

"Snickerdoodles?" Finnick said, amused. "Katniss' favorite. Interesting choice."

Peeta glared at his friend as he finished mixing the ingredients. There was no way around it now that he had stared a huge batch.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, okay?" he said as he started scooping the dough onto a chilled cookie sheet. "I'm gonna go crazy if I keep thinking about it."

"Fine," Finnick sighed. "But before we drop it, I'm just going to point out that I really think you need to talk to her."

"Understood," Peeta said shortly, then froze when he heard the key at the door behind him.

"Hey, boys!" Peeta's father said, looking up as he closed the door behind him. "Snickerdoodles? A bit early."

"Yeah, we finished the rest ahead of schedule, so I figured I would just get started," Peeta said with a warning glance in Finnick's direction. They may have already agreed to drop the topic, but Peeta wanted to be sure Finnick wouldn't bring up Katniss again in front of his father. He didn't need prodding from two people.

"Hey, Mr. Mellark," Finnick said, shooting a look at Peeta that made it clear that he was slightly offended that Peeta didn't trust him to keep his mouth shut.

"Good morning, Finnick," Peeta's dad said as he tied an apron around his waist. "What have y'all been talking about?"

"Girls," Finnick said lightly after a brief pause during which Peeta struggled to come up with something to tell his father. "I was just asking Peet if he thought I should ask Annie to be my date to the party I'm throwing this weekend."

"Annie Cresta?" Peeta's dad asked, nodding. "She's a nice girl."

"She's very nice," Finnick said. Peeta eyed him carefully.

This was the first mention Finnick had ever made of having any sort of interest in Annie Cresta. Peeta really liked her; they had been friends since she transferred to Panem at the end of freshman year and Peeta was a bit worried that Finnick would play her like he had played so many other girls.

It wasn't that Finnick was a bad guy, he just  _really_ liked girls, and never seemed to hold interest in any one girl for an extended period of time. He lifted his head so his green eyes met Peeta's blue ones and Peeta saw the sincerity in them as he said, "I really like her."

Peeta nodded as his dad looked up with a grin. "Well, then, I think you should ask her out. Peeta?"

"Yeah," Peeta said as he crossed the room to put the Snickerdoodles in the oven. "Annie's great. You should ask her out."

Finnick grinned at Peeta and nodded when Peeta smacked him between his shoulder blades with the towel he had used to dry his hands. Peeta's dad chuckled and waved Peeta off when he started to gather more ingredients.

"No, no, you boys head on out," he said.

"You sure?" Peeta asked.

"Yeah, Mr. Mellark. We've got a while left before we have to be at school. We can stay a little longer," Finnick offered, but Peeta's dad shook his head.

"You've already got me well ahead of schedule. I can finish up here," he said. Finnick glanced at Peeta and shrugged as he headed over to the work desk to grab his book bag.

"Alright. Thanks, Dad," Peeta said, heading for the door.

"See ya, Mr. Mellark!" Finnick called over his shoulder.

"Thanks, boys. Have a good day at school!" Peeta's dad said as the heavy metal door clanged shut between them.

"So," Peeta said as he unlocked his car. He waited until Finnick was settled in the passenger's seat. "Annie Cresta, huh?"

"I guess it's my turn to suffer through this?" Finnick groaned, but Peeta knew that if Finnick really liked Annie, he had been dying to talk about it for ages. Peeta grinned at his friend as he carefully pulled into traffic.

* * *

Peeta sighed as he stared at his phone. It was lunchtime and he was spending it in the library. As much as it annoyed Finnick, Peeta just didn't think he could handle eating at the same table as Katniss, not today. Not when he was so confused and frustrated. He just needed some time to think.

Katniss didn't seem to get that at first, seeing as she had been texting him all day. However, he had been dutifully pretending he hadn't received them for hours.

He felt bad for ignoring her, but he just couldn't deal with it right now. It wasn't like Katniss to keep texting him when she knew he didn't want to talk. It wasn't like Katniss to want to talk about awkward situations at all, actually. He didn't understand it, but he still wasn't ready to talk about it.

He had thought that ignoring Katniss' texts all day would help him clear his head, but he hadn't been banking on his dad nagging him about it all day as well. His phone had chimed with the first text message of the day just as he was pulling into the school parking lot. The drive with Finnick had helped to relax him a bit, since he had spent the entire time razzing his friend about his unexpected crush. When he read his father's message, though, all of the drama with Katniss came rushing back to him.

_Katniss was just here. Looking for you._

His message was followed almost immediately by the first from Katniss:  _Where are you?_

Peeta had ignored them both, though Finnick advised him to talk to both of them. Finnick wanted him to tell his dad what was going on and to hash things out with Katniss so he could understand exactly what was going on. Peeta just couldn't do that yet, though.

He was in homeroom when Katniss texted him again:  _Come on, Peeta. Can we talk?_

And immediately afterwards, like she had forgotten to add it to the previous message:  _Please?_

Instead of giving in and replying, he put his phone in his bag and put his head down on his desk, closing his eyes tightly.

Fishing his phone back out when he took his seat in first period, he saw the second message from his dad:  _She seemed really upset about something._

Peeta was still staring at the words on his screen several minutes later, so he didn't see her enter the classroom and take her seat at the back of the left side of the classroom. They usually sat near each other when they had a class together, but this was the only class that was arranged alphabetically.

Upset? Katniss was upset? He figured that she felt awkward, and was maybe a little worried about how they were going to move past the disaster of the previous night, but he would never have expected anyone to describe her as  _upset_  about it.

He looked up when the tardy bell rang and quickly put his phone in his pocket, glancing at Katniss against his will. She was staring at her phone instead of looking at him. Seconds later, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He sighed and tried to ignore it.

Halfway through the class, it had vibrated twice more, so he pulled his phone out carefully, rolling his eyes to find two messages from Katniss and one more from his dad. He checked his dad's first:

_Is something going on that I should know about?_

No, Dad, he thought. I'm just having a fucking meltdown over my best friend.

He ignored the message again and pulled up his thread with Katniss, dread gnawing at his belly. He didn't want to deal with this shit. Couldn't she respect that?

_I'm sorry._

Katniss never apologized.

_I just want to talk to you._

She also never wanted to talk about awkward situations.

He could feel her gaze burning holes in the side of his head but stared resolutely forward as he locked his phone and shoved it back in his pocket.

She texted him again before class ended. Peeta shook his head, annoyed, as he pulled the message up when he bolted from the room before the bell had even finished ringing.

_I know you're mad at me. I just want a chance to explain._

Well, Katniss, maybe I'm not ready for you to explain, he thought as he sat in the relative safety of his art class. Katniss was not artistic in the slightest, so he didn't have to pretend he couldn't feel her staring at him for an hour.

Of course, that didn't stop her from texting him again.

_You don't understand._

Well, she had that right. He didn't understand. They were great as friends and they could probably be a kickass couple, but if she thought she could make a fuck buddy out of him… No, he didn't fucking get how she could think he would be up for that.

The next time his phone vibrated, right before his last class before lunch, he nearly threw it across the room, but it wasn't from Katniss.

_Peeta Mellark, if you hurt that girl…_

Jesus  _fucking_  Christ, Dad, he thought. I'm not hurting her; she's hurting me.

But he had to admit, the fact that she kept texting him made him think that she was indeed hurting. He was surprised to find that the thought didn't make him feel better.

Katniss' next message arrived when he was taking a test, so he couldn't have replied even if he had wanted to.

_Please, just say something._

If he were being honest with himself, he had to say that he probably would have responded to that. The thought of a pleading, hurt Katniss made his heart ache, pushing his frustration and confusion to the background.

Before he had the chance to come up with something to say, she had already come back twice:

_Okay, I'll leave you alone._

_Sorry._

Well, he thought as he sat alone in the library unenthusiastically picking at his homemade ham sandwich on rye, at least I don't have to put up with my phone vibrating nonstop for the rest of the day.

He scowled at his phone as it chose that exact moment to vibrate in his hand.

_Peeta Mellark. Do not ignore me._

Peeta rolled his eyes. First Katniss didn't understand that he needed space and now his dad was having the same issue.

_Dad. I'm at school. Chill out._

He put his phone down, fully expecting to be kept waiting for his father's reply for several long minutes. He was surprised, therefore, when he got a response immediately.

_I don't give a shit. I know for a fact that you text your friends all day at school._

Knowing full well that there was nothing his father could do to make him pay for it, or even know he was doing it, Peeta made a mocking face as he typed out a new message.

_Well, I'm replying now. What do you want?_

He would probably pay for that. His dad was really mild-mannered and slow to anger, but he didn't appreciate receiving attitude from any of his sons, least of all his youngest, who had always been closest to him.

_Easy on the attitude._

Peeta sighed.

_How may I be of assistance, sir?_

He wouldn't like that one, either, Peeta thought, but Peeta didn't really like the fact that he couldn't catch a break from unwanted texts that day.

_Enough, smart ass. What's going on with you and Katniss?_

Peeta glared at his phone, imagining his father could feel the force of his displeasure through the connection.

 _Nothing_ , he typed. A one-word answer was almost as good as a scathing glare, right?

_Peeta. She was almost in tears when I told her she had just missed you._

He didn't know if he should believe that. Katniss didn't cry. At least, he had never seen her cry and Peeta figured that meant something as he was pretty sure she was more comfortable with him than any of her other friends. If she was going to use anyone for a shoulder to cry on, it would probably be him.

_I don't want to talk about it._

His father was probably just trying to shock him into talking, anyway.

_Fine. But we're talking after school._

Peeta's shoulders slumped forward as he sighed.

 _If you insist,_ he sent. When his father didn't reply immediately, he figured the conversation was over.

Remembering, and hoping it would gain him some leeway, Peeta sent his father another message:  _I have wrestling practice this afternoon._

 _When you get home_ , his father replied almost immediately.

Peeta sighed. Of course he couldn't catch a break.

"Hey, Peeta."

Peeta looked up from his phone and saw Annie Cresta standing in front of him, smiling shyly. He smiled at her and glanced back at his phone, decided he didn't need to reply back to his dad and put it away.

"What's up, Annie?" he asked.

"Nothing. Mind if I sit here?" Annie asked, already pulling out the seat across from him and sitting down.

"Of course not," he said. He watched as Annie carefully pulled a brown paper bag out of her purple book bag and started unpacking her lunch. She kept fidgeting in her seat, so Peeta figured she had something she really wanted to talk to him about.

"Have you done the calculus homework?" Annie asked.

Peeta blinked. That wasn't what he was expecting. But, looking at Annie, he decided it wasn't what was really on her mind, anyway.

"Yeah," he said. "Did it with Katniss last night."

 _Not the only thing you did with Katniss last night_ , a voice in his mind reminded him.

 _Shut up_ , he told the voice.

"Oh, me too. I mean, on my own, though," Annie said. "Did you guys have trouble with number seventy-eight?"

"Uh, I think that was the really difficult one Mr. Abernathy warned us about. But I figured it out eventually," he answered. Annie nodded her agreement as she took a small bite of her own sandwich. Peeta cleared his throat and decided to push her a bit. "Have you talked to Finnick today?"

Annie's reaction was comical. Her eyes went wide and she choked, grabbing for her water and taking a huge gulp. When she resurfaced, her face was bright red. Peeta raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.

"He told you?" Annie whispered.

"Maybe," Peeta shrugged. He couldn't just come right out and tell Annie that Finnick had told him he was planning to ask her out. What if Finnick hadn't actually done it yet, but just flirted with her a bit, trying to butter her up? Annie was extremely shy; he imagined she blushed like crazy when anyone flirted with her, not to mention the most sought-after boy in school. "It depends on what you guys talked about."

"He, um. He asked me to go with him to his party," Annie said quietly, staring wide-eyed at Peeta. Sensing her discomfort, he just smiled kindly and nodded before she added, "Like, he wanted it to be a date."

"Yeah, he told me he was planning on asking you out," Peeta said when it was clear that Annie needed him to say something, anything. Looking at the dismayed expression on the face of the girl across from him, Peeta's heart sank as he considered the possibility that Annie could have turned Finnick down. A ladies' man all his life, Finnick would be completely crushed if he were shot down by the one girl he really, truly liked. "What… did you say?"

"I told him I would think about it," Annie said with a wide-eyed gulp. Something of Peeta's dread at having to put up with Finnick's nerves until she gave a definitive answer must have showed in Peeta's face because Annie shook her head and hurried to explain herself. "I don't know if I can, Peeta! I was friends with Jennette when he dated her and we don't talk much anymore, so I don't think she'd really care if I went with him, but she was devastated when he broke up with her because she didn't even think there was anything wrong. And then less than a week later, he was sucking face with Cashmere."

Peeta sighed. He remembered that. He had wanted to kick Finnick's ass at the time because Jennette was actually a really sweet girl and someone Peeta might have liked to have been friends with had Finnick not broken her heart.

"I just don't want him to hurt me, too," Annie whispered, eyes downcast.

A surge of sympathy swept over him as he shook his head. He wasn't sure if he felt worse for his best friend for having a reputation that really didn't reflect his true character, or for the sweet girl sitting across from him who obviously wasn't as confident as she should be.

"He won't do that to you. He won't hurt you," Peeta said firmly, smiling encouragingly when Annie looked up at him. "Do you like him? Because I know he really, really likes you, Annie."

"He does?"

"Yeah. A whole lot. I've heard him talk about  _a lot_ of girls in the past, but the way he was talking about you, Annie… he really likes you, I can tell."

"I'm not experienced like him."

"Finn isn't as experienced as people think he is," Peeta said, leveling a significant look at Annie.

Everyone at their school assumed that because Finnick was so attractive and had so many girls panting after him he was something of a sex god, but Peeta knew that Finnick had only had sex once, over a year ago, and had been completely disappointed in the emptiness he had felt afterwards. No one ever suspected it of Finnick, but he really wanted to make an emotional connection with someone more than just a physical one.

Annie looked across at him with wide, surprised eyes. "He's not?" Peeta shook his head. Annie looked hopeful for a moment before her shoulders slumped again and she dropped her gaze. "Doesn't matter. He's still more experienced. I've never dated anyone before."

"That doesn't matter to Finn," Peeta said gently, reaching across the table to cover Annie's hand with one of his own. "Really, he likes you. It won't matter to him if you've been with a hundred guys or none; he just wants a chance."

"Peeta, I've never even had my first kiss," Annie whispered sadly.

Surprised, Peeta's grip on Annie's hand slackened a bit. Annie was a pretty girl; there was no way that Finnick was the first guy to ask her out. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he glimpsed a familiar long, dark braid retreating, but he was too busy focusing on Annie to worry about it.

"Oh. Annie, I'm pretty sure that'll only make Finnick like you even more. He'll be glad of the change in pace."

Annie smiled shyly, hooking her long brown hair behind her ear before she sighed, "I'm also afraid of what my parents will say. They're kind of strict."

Peeta frowned for a moment, thinking up a way around that obstacle. He had never had to deal with strict parents since he had started dating.

"Have Finnick pick you up before the party. Or tell him to come over for dinner the night before. Your parents can meet and interrogate him," Peeta suggested eventually, his eyes lighting up at the brilliance of it. "Oh, God, please get him to do that. And take pictures for me. He'll be scared shitless. He's never met a girl's parents before."

"You think he'd do that?" Annie asked skeptically. Peeta nodded.

"I honestly don't think there's much he wouldn't do for you at this point, Annie," Peeta said. "Look. If you really like him, you need to talk to him. You can't be afraid of being with him because of his past; that's not who he is. Who he is is a great, disgustingly loyal, sincere guy who really, really likes you."

Peeta had to actually push away the nagging thought in his mind that told him maybe he should take his own advice.

As Annie made her way out in search of Finnick a few minutes later, Peeta made a mental note to threaten to beat his friend to within an inch of his life if he did anything to hurt that girl's feelings. Then he smiled smugly; he was a damn good wingman.

* * *

Peeta sighed tiredly as he tossed his wrestling gear and his heavy book bag on the bottom of the stairs and trudged his way to the kitchen. Food. He needed food, and lots of it.

He had just put the finishing touches on a monster of a turkey, ham, and swiss cheese sandwich on a croissant he had made before Katniss had come over to do homework the day before when he heard footsteps behind him. Turning around with a mouth full of bread and meat, he saw his dad watching him.

Unable to speak around the mass of food in his mouth, he sent his father a questioning look. He hadn't expected his dad to be home from the bakery for at least another hour.

"Brandon showed up early and took over," his dad said, interpreting Peeta's look correctly. He pulled out a stool at the island and gestured for Peeta to step over. "Have a seat, son."

"Dad, I just want to eat this sandwich, do my homework and go to sleep. Can we not do this right now?" Peeta said after forcing himself to swallow, his throat raw after swallowing such a huge bite.

"Sit," his father commanded.

"Fine. But I'm still eating this damn sandwich," Peeta muttered, falling heavily onto the stool with his father at his back.

His father skipped the preamble and dived right in to the problem. "What's going on with Katniss?"

Peeta took a small bite of his sandwich and rolled his eyes before answering. "I don't suppose it matters to you that I really don't want to talk about it right now, does it?"

"Of course it matters, Peeta. I just want to make sure that nothing… serious happened."

"Serious?" Peeta questioned. He thought his make-out session with Katniss had gotten pretty serious pretty quickly, but he didn't think that was what his father meant. "Dad, what do you think happened?"

"Did you get her… in trouble?" his father asked hesitantly.

"Trouble? Wait. Dad!" Peeta dropped his sandwich and jumped up from his seat, wheeling around to face his father. "You don't think I got her pregnant, do you?!"

"You were in bed together," his father said awkwardly.

"Okay, no. We were on my bed. For like a minute. Talking. We were not  _in bed_  together," Peeta insisted, mortified that his father thought he was secretly banging Katniss. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret if he ever did start seeing Katniss that seriously. "Besides, even if we were having sex, that was  _yesterday_. There would be no way for her to already be pregnant."

"Didn't have to be the first time," his father said, making his discomfort known. Peeta knew from experience that his father had trouble forming complete sentences when he was uncomfortable.

"It wasn't the first time, or any time because we've never had sex, Dad! I didn't get her pregnant; she's not pregnant," Peeta insisted. "Can I go now?"

"Peet, you usually tell me everything! Sometimes, more than I actually want to know," his father exclaimed and Peeta knew he was thinking of the time Peeta had come home from a date with Glimmer, so incredibly excited to have copped his first feel that he told his father about it in excruciating detail. "The fact that you won't talk about this has me worried."

"There's nothing to worry about, Dad. I just… I don't even know what's going on," Peeta sighed, falling back onto the stool.

"Maybe talking about it would help," his father suggested, resting a hand on Peeta's shoulder.

"Didn't help much to talk to Finn about it," Peeta mumbled as he lifted his sandwich to his mouth. He wasn't really hungry anymore, but he needed something to do with his hands.

"Try it out with me."

"Fine," Peeta said, slightly annoyed. He put his sandwich down again, but kept his back to his father.

Peeta launched into the story of what happened the day before, glossing over the somewhat raunchy details of the confusing half-hour make out session and delving right into Katniss' unsatisfactory explanation.

When he was finished, he looked up over his shoulder to see his father frowning contemplatively.

"I'm just really confused… and actually kinda hurt."

"Because you like her."

It wasn't a question, but a statement. Peeta nodded hesitantly.

"Well, yeah. I guess I never realized how much, but after yesterday, I think I like her  _a lot_ ," he admitted.

"And you think that she just kissed you because she was bored and… wanted to kiss someone?"

"I mean, that's what she said, isn't it?" Peeta asked, unsure.

"I don't know what she said. You're the one who was there," his father pointed out. "But, for what it's worth, I don't think that's what she meant."

"Neither does Finn," Peeta muttered, his shoulders slumping.

"He's a smart guy, Peeta. So are you. You know Katniss. You know she would never hurt you like that."

"Well, not on purpose! But she didn't know I liked her! Hell, I didn't even know I liked her!" Peeta exclaimed, picking at his croissant so he soon had a pile of flakes on the side of his sandwich.

"Exactly, Peeta. She didn't know you liked her," his dad said. "I imagine she hadn't thought about much past kissing you and when you asked her why she kissed you, she panicked. Suppose she likes you and she wasn't sure if you liked her, too. Maybe she just told you she was bored because she thought it was safer than saying that she had wanted to kiss you for months."

"Well that's stupid," Peeta grumbled.

"Would you have told her you liked her? If you were unsure?"

Peeta snorted at his father's question. "I think I pretty much did when I was obviously upset by her answer."

"Did you give her the chance to try and explain herself once she realized she had upset you?"

"Well… no," Peeta hesitated, knowing that his father wouldn't be pleased to hear Peeta's reaction. "I kind of asked her to go home…"

"Peeta."

He couldn't stand that tone. That fatherly tone that said 'I'm disappointed in you, son,' in just one word. He jumped to defend himself.

"I was humiliated! And really upset."

"It was still rude," his father insisted. "Did you at least talk to her at school today?"

"…She texted me a few times," Peeta said.

More like ten, he thought.

"And did you text her back?"

"…No."

"Peeta, you need to talk to her," his father advised him.

"You sound like Finnick," Peeta sighed.

"We're intelligent men, Finnick Odair and I. You should listen to us."

"I know, okay? I know I need to talk to her," Peeta said and caught his father's expectant frown. "And I will, okay? Just… not yet. I still need to think."

"What do you need to think about?" his father asked. Peeta shrugged, uncomfortable. He wasn't actually sure what he meant when he kept telling people he needed to think.

"What it'll mean for us," he finally said.

"What what will mean?" his father asked.

"Whatever she has to say," Peeta said, though now that he thought about it, Peeta was pretty sure he just wanted some time to mope. He didn't want to think about it anymore.

"You mean, if she doesn't like you." His father stated it more as a fact than a question, but Peeta knew it was a question.

"Yeah. I mean, I can probably get over it. But it'll take time. We won't be the same, but we can still be friends. Eventually," Peeta said, but he wasn't sure if he believed himself. He glanced over his shoulder at his father to see if he believed him, but he was frowning thoughtfully.

"And if she does like you?" his father questioned. "If she was trying to tell you that she wanted to be more than friends with you?"

"I guess I have to figure out if that's something I'm willing to risk."

"Peeta, it's already at risk. If you both like each other and you turn that girl down because it  _might_  not work out and it  _might_ destroy your friendship to try, you are  _definitely_ going to destroy your friendship."

"I just need to think, okay? Do I have your permission to think about this shit? Or do I have to make a decision right this fucking minute when I don't even know all the details myself?" Peeta snapped, glaring at his father. He was just so tired of talking about Katniss.

Normally, his dad would glare right back and tell him to watch his fucking language and not take that attitude with him, so Peeta was surprised when he nodded and changed the subject.

"So, did Finnick ask Annie out?"

After a moment, Peeta smiled begrudgingly and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. At first she gave him a non-answer. 'I'll think about it,'" Peeta said, pitching his voice up to mimic a feminine voice. "But then I swooped in and convinced her to give him a shot. He's having dinner at her house on Thursday and, if he gains her parents' approval, she's going to go out with him."

"Nice," his father said, nodding his approval.

"I know. I'll be receiving my 'Wingman of the Century' medal any day now," Peeta said with a cocky grin that his father matched, clapping his son on the shoulder.

"Damn right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, guys! I hope you enjoyed it.   
> I hope to have the next chapter up soon!   
> Follow me on tumblr and come talk to me! I'm ilikewatchingyousleep


	4. 4

Katniss was moping and she knew it, but there was nothing she could do to stop herself from wanting to lay on the couch all day eating Bunny Tracks ice cream in the sweatshirt Peeta had left at her house ages ago.

 

She had “forgotten” to give it back to him, opting instead to wear it around her house after she showered at night, forgoing a bra and T-shirt as that made it all the more intimate in her mind. Peeta’s worn clothing touching her bare breasts? It made her heart race just to think of it; she remembered the feel of his hands covering her bra, kneading at her almost in wonder. Remembering, a wave of sadness, confusion and frustration coursed over her, on top of the excited thrumming in her blood that she had come to associate with thoughts of Peeta, especially somewhat indecent thoughts of him.

 

She was sitting on the couch wearing Peeta’s sweatshirt and wishing she didn’t have to get up and get ready for school when her father entered the living room. Katniss didn’t look up at him when he paused, looking at her, on his way to the kitchen. Seeing his daughter’s distress, he immediately changed direction and took a seat next to her on the couch.

 

Katniss lifted the sleeve of Peeta’s sweatshirt to her face and inhaled deeply, though subtly she hoped, closing her eyes tiredly. It still smelled of him, just slightly. That was surprising since she had been wearing it for over a month. A hand on her shoulder made her jump; her eyes flew open.

 

“Are you okay, baby?” her dad asked quietly. Her mom was asleep in their bedroom after working a night shift at the hospital. Katniss, Prim and their Dad always made sure to take care to be quiet on mornings after a night shift.

 

Looking over at her dad, she shrugged, her tired eyes struggling to stay open. “I don’t want to go to school today,” she mumbled, shifting towards her dad to rest her head on his chest.

 

“Did something happen?” he asked, lifting his arm to encircle her shoulders. Katniss shook her head against him.

 

“I haven’t been sleeping the past few nights.” Her voice was muffled against her dad’s chest, but he heard her and looked down in concern.

 

“Have you been having nightmares again?”

 

When Katniss was little, she used to have horrible nightmares from which she would wake up screaming and crying almost every night, unable to fall asleep again unless she was curled up between her parents. Prim was usually there, too, having been woken by Katniss’ screams and being jealous of her ‘cuddle time’ with Mommy and Daddy. The nightmares had stopped when she was eleven, after she had been seeing a psychologist for a few months. She still didn’t really know what had caused her nightmares, but her shrink, Cinna, had spouted something about stress. How stressed could an eleven year-old be, though?

 

She shook her head, pulling her legs up behind her and curling into the comfort of her father’s warmth. “Just can’t sleep.”

 

“Katniss, look at me,” her father commanded gently.

 

Katniss looked up into her father’s concerned gaze. He brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and felt her forehead for fever. Katniss almost smiled at the fatherly gesture. She wasn’t sick; she was just sad.

 

“Do you need to start seeing Dr. Cinna again?” he asked quietly.

 

“No.” Katniss shook her head. Her dad gave her a stern look and she sighed. “I’m fine, Daddy. It’s not like that.”

 

“You’ve been moping around the house since you got home from the Mellarks’ on Sunday afternoon. That was three days ago,” he pointed out. “Did you and Peeta have a fight?”

 

Katniss sighed and pulled away from her dad, settling back into the arm of the couch.

 

“Kind of.” She knew her father was gearing up to ask for more information, but she continued before he had the chance. “I don’t want to talk about it, Dad.”

 

“Okay.” He waited a beat before concerned curiosity got the better of him. “Is something going on between you two? Did he… push you into anything?”

 

“Dad,” Katniss said, exasperated. “No.”

 

“If there’s something I need to know, Katniss…”

 

“There isn’t! Okay? It’s stupid,” Katniss insisted.

 

“If it’s got you this upset, it isn’t stupid,” her dad said. “Maybe I could help you.”

 

“I don’t need help,” Katniss mumbled as her sister finally vacated the bathroom, her golden hair perfectly straightened with one tiny, fancy braid worked in to give it some flair. “Finally finished, have you?”

 

Prim stuck her tongue out at her and looked at their father. “What’s going on?”

 

“Maybe you could tell me,” he answered. Prim looked between Katniss and their father curiously. Katniss glared at her in warning; Prim raised her eyebrows, alarmed. “What’s up with your sister?”

 

“What do you mean?” Prim carefully picked an invisible piece of lint off the skirt of her pretty blue sundress as an excuse to avert her eyes.

 

“Look at her. You know what I mean,” their father said firmly. Prim looked at her sister obediently, eyebrows drawn together thoughtfully. Katniss looked away from her, scowling. Prim never held up against their father’s questions. “Primrose.”

 

“Um,” Prim said nervously. “Well, I think Peeta’s been avoiding her.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Dad, please,” Katniss said, but he ignored her.

 

“Prim?” he prompted.

 

“Uh, well. I don’t really know… Katniss didn’t tell me what happened,” Prim said quietly. She glanced at Katniss, unsure. “I think he’s upset about something that happened Sunday? He won’t talk to her.”

 

“What do you think happened?”

 

“Well… I heard Johanna talking about it on Monday… something about a kiss and Peeta being a… jerk,” Prim said slowly.

 

“Prim!” Katniss glared at her sister. Prim sent an apologetic look her way.

 

“Katniss?” their dad asked.

 

Katniss huffed as she turned to him. She knew he was going to think the worst, that Peeta had kissed her without her consent, or something far more nefarious if she didn’t just tell him what happened.

 

“I kissed him, okay?!” she snapped. “I kissed him and then I put my foot in my mouth and he freaked out and now he won’t talk to me. Sorry I don’t want to talk about it with my dad and my kid sister!”

 

“I’m not a kid! I’m fourteen!” Prim protested, pouting as she crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“You still tell Dad things that are none of your or his business when he uses the Daddy voice on you,” Katniss said with a scathing look in her sister’s direction. She almost felt bad when she saw the genuinely hurt look on Prim’s face. “And you eavesdrop on my private conversations! Brat.”

 

“I was not eavesdropping, Katniss!” Prim insisted, stung. “Johanna talks really loud! It’s hard to tune her out sometimes!”

 

“Give us a minute, honey,” their dad told Prim, who sighed and went into the kitchen to get something to eat.

 

Katniss curled into herself in the corner of the couch as her dad stood from his spot and turned to study her.

 

“You can stay home today because I know you really are exhausted, but you’re not making a habit of skipping school over a boy, you understand?”

 

“Okay,” she muttered.

 

“And don’t be so hard on your sister. You know she can’t hold out against me,” he said. Then, as an afterthought, he added, “I probably shouldn’t have pushed her. It wasn’t my business if you didn’t want me to know.”

 

“No, it wasn’t,” Katniss said, but the harshness of before was gone from her voice.

 

“I’m sorry,” her dad said. “But I want you to know that you can tell me anything.”

 

“I know,” she whispered. “But maybe I just don’t want to when the one person I _need_ to talk to refuses to acknowledge my existence.”

 

Her dad didn’t say anything for a moment, and Katniss thought he was going to leave her without another word as she heard his footsteps leading away from the couch towards the kitchen.

 

“Come on, Prim. We don’t have much time; we can eat in the car,” their dad said, ushering Prim from the kitchen towards the front door. He turned back to Katniss and crossed the room to place a kiss on the top of her head. “Everything seems like the end of the world when you’re in high school, but I promise you it isn’t.”

 

Katniss watched her father disappear after Prim. Then she closed her eyes. And finally slept.

 

 

She woke around lunchtime with her mother hovering over her, blue eyes underlined by dark purple bags that probably matched Katniss’. A cool hand pressed to her daughter’s cheek, she sat gingerly on the edge of the couch at Katniss’ side.

 

“Your father called,” she said softly, her voice rough with sleep. “He told me what’s been going on.”

 

“He shouldn’t have done that,” Katniss mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “He should have let you sleep.”

 

“He’s a worried parent. It’s his prerogative to put your wellbeing over anything else,” her mother said tenderly, smoothing Katniss’ hair off her forehead. “Also being your parent, I happen to be worried about you as well, so I didn’t mind being woken up.”

 

“I don’t want to worry you guys,” Katniss sighed, sitting up slowly, pushing her back into the arm of the couch. “I’m fine.”

 

“You’re so distressed about Peeta that you haven’t been sleeping,” her mother pointed out. “You’re not fine.”

 

“I am,” Katniss said weakly. “I just… I need to give Peeta his space. And then we can talk about it and it’ll be fine.”

 

She didn’t like the careful look on her mother’s face. It only brought her back to the very real possibility that things may never be right between her and Peeta again.

 

“… won’t it?” Katniss questioned, uncertain as she looked hopefully at her mother, who hesitated.

 

“Yes,” she answered after a moment. “In one way or another, it will be fine.”

 

“You don’t think we’ll work it out,” Katniss said. She hated the tremulous tone in her voice, but she could do nothing to stop it. She felt betrayed to think that her mother didn’t believe in her and Peeta. Even if she didn’t have faith in them as a couple, because they had never been a couple, Katniss and Peeta had been close friends for such a long time; she should at least have faith in their friendship.

 

“I didn’t say that,” her mother said slowly. “But I do think you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that it won’t.”

 

“I guess I just can’t afford to consider that possibility,” Katniss admitted. Her eyes and nose began to burn with unshed tears; she cleared her throat to disguise it, but her mother’s expression remained ever understanding and knowing.

 

“Did I ever tell you that I used to date Peeta’s father?” she said softly after a moment.

 

“What?” Katniss looked up at her mother with wide eyes, momentarily forgetting the urge to cry. “No way!”

 

“Yes. Before your dad,” her mother smiled softly and patted Katniss’ hand. “Naan and I dated for a while. He broke up with me when he met Peeta’s mother.”

 

Katniss must have made an expression of extreme dislike because her mother smiled ruefully.

 

“Yes, she always was rather unpleasant,” her mother said. “Did you ever meet her?”

 

“No,” Katniss said. “But I’ve heard about her. She hurt Peeta.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And he chose her?”

 

“Well, I don’t think it was as simple as that,” her mother said thoughtfully, her voice soft and melodic. “Even to this day, I don’t really know the whole story behind how he ended up with her, but I do know that I was completely bereaved when he left me.” 

 

“You were in love with Mr. Mellark?”

 

Katniss didn’t understand; her parents were friends with Peeta’s dad. How could her mom be friends with a guy who had broken her heart? And how could her dad be friends with the man with whom his wife had once been in love?

 

“I thought I was,” her mother said, her eyes crinkling as she smiled. “I was very dramatic in my teen years. I thought at first that he would realize his mistake and come back to me. I thought I wanted him more than anything.”

 

“Then you met Dad?” Katniss said, already seeing that this story was headed for happily ever after. 

“I already knew him, actually,” her mother corrected. “But then he swept me off my feet, yes. And I fell in love with him so fast, so hard. Even though there were some people who didn’t… approve… of our relationship…”

 

“Your parents?” Katniss guessed. She had picked up on the fact that her grandparents were no real fans of her father’s at a young age. She had always assumed that her perceptiveness likely had much to do with the fact that they only saw her grandparents once a year, at Christmastime.

 

“Yes,” her mother said simply, a resentful look gracing her face for the first time.

 

“Because he was poor?” While she had always known that her father was disliked by her grandparents, she had never really understood the reason.

 

“That, and they had always been fond of Naan. They had high hopes that we would end up together, somehow, even after we broke up,” her mother explained. “When I moved on to your father after little more than a month, they were livid. I’ve always remained convinced that that certainly colored their impression of your father.”

 

“But you guys ended up getting married anyway,” Katniss said.  

 

“Yes, we did,” her mother said with her first truly happy smile of the morning. “And we’ve been happy ever since.”

 

“Yeah, that’s great and all, but what does that have to do with me and Peeta?” Katniss asked.

 

She didn’t see the connection here, apart from the familial connections they had with the participants of the story. Peeta wasn’t her boyfriend, as much as she had thought he would be before Sunday went wrong. Nor was he an acquaintance waiting to sweep her off her feet as soon as he got his chance.

 

“Well, I thought my life was over when Naan left me,” her mother said. Katniss had the distinct impression that she was about to receive some nugget of wisdom. “But it had only just begun.”

 

There it was. Katniss thought it over for a moment before she came to what she thought was the likeliest meaning behind her mother’s story.

 

“You think Peeta and I are just… over. Completely,” she said, numb. She figured she should probably feel betrayed by her mother’s complete lack of faith, but she didn’t feel anything but dread. What if she was right? “You think I shouldn’t hold out hope for him, for a relationship or our friendship?”

 

“No, I don’t think that,” her mother said quickly, taking both of Katniss’ hands in her own. “I just want you to be aware that this is going to work out in some way for the better. You are going to be fine no matter what happens, no matter what you and Peeta decide between the two of you.”

 

“What if we don’t get the chance to decide anything between the two of us?” Katniss asked sadly, holding onto her mother’s hands for dear life. “What if he doesn’t give us the chance because he refuses to speak to me?”

 

“Then, sweetheart, you will still be just fine,” her mother said with a soft smile, leaning forward to press a tender kiss to the top of her eldest daughter’s head. “Now, I’m going to heat up some of that roast from the other night for lunch. Would you like some?”

 

“Sure,” Katniss said.

 

As her mother got up to fix them both some lunch, Katniss allowed herself a few more minutes to wallow. She was more like her mother in that story than she was willing to admit. She was completely infatuated with Peeta and he wanted nothing to do with her. She even feared that he was interested in someone else, for she had seen him holding hands with Annie Cresta in the library on Monday, leaning toward her with a tender expression on his face.

 

She didn’t know how she would handle it if Peeta started dating Annie. She had always liked Annie; she was a really sweet, rather quiet girl and they were pretty good friends. If Peeta liked Annie, Katniss would be even more crushed than she already was.

 

 

She shouldn’t have sent him that last text. Katniss knew it now, but at the time, she had been unable to stop herself from typing it out and sending it.

 

_It’s been four days. Are you still ignoring me?_

 

It had only been ten minutes, but his lack of an answer was answer enough. She would wonder if he had even received it yet, if her phone didn’t inform her that her message had been delivered and read.

 

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, she stared at her reflection. Her braided hair was a mess; she could fix that by just redoing it, but it seemed like a lot more effort than she felt like expending. Sometimes she wore makeup – a bit of concealer, less often some eyeliner – and if any day called for makeup, it was today. The bags under her eyes were as prominent as ever and her eyelids were a deep, sleep-deprived violet made more noticeable by the fact that her face was unnaturally pale. Yes, she could definitely benefit from a thick layer of concealer and a new hairdo, but she just didn’t have the energy or the motivation to try.

 

“Katniss! Dad’s ready to go and I still need to brush my teeth!” Prim called from the other side of the door and Katniss sighed.

 

After one last, quick glance in the mirror, she turned and opened the door, moving past Prim and into the hallway. “All yours.”

 

“Are you okay?” Prim asked. Katniss turned around and saw her standing bathed in the light from the bathroom in the otherwise dark hallway.

 

“Fine,” she said shortly, then cleared her throat when she caught Prim’s offended expression. “Um, why?”

 

“You look… tired,” Prim said carefully. “Maybe you should stay home again today.”

 

Katniss snorted humorlessly.

 

“If that’s your polite way of telling me I look like death warmed over, I already know. Plus, Dad made it clear yesterday that he wouldn’t let me skip again without a good reason,” she said and started to turn away again.

 

“Katniss,” Prim called when she was almost to the end of the hall. Katniss sighed and turned around, raising an eyebrow in question. Prim seemed to debate what to say for a moment before she settled on, “You’re kind of awesome. If Peeta’s too stupid to see that right now, then he’s an idiot and it’s his loss. I love you.”

 

Katniss was silent for a moment, just staring at her sister. She didn’t know the details of what had happened, really, but the fact that she had so much faith in her big sister that she would just blindly believe that Katniss was being wronged was comforting, somehow. Slowly, the corners of Katniss’ mouth lifted up just slightly on both sides. “Love you too, Prim.”

 

About half an hour later, Katniss stepped out of her father’s car and turned to wait for Prim to get out so they could walk into school together. The two sisters had just turned around to start up toward the school when their father called out from the car.

 

“Kat! Come here for a second!”

 

Prim looked questioningly at Katniss, who shrugged and murmured, “I’ll see you later.”

 

She leaned down and stuck her head in the open window of the passenger door. Her father put the car in park, turned off the radio, and leaned across the center console so he could speak quietly to her without being overheard by anyone passing.

 

“You going to be okay today, sweetie?” he asked.

 

Katniss hesitated and then nodded her head noncommittally; it was really more a jerk of her chin to the left. Her father narrowed his gaze and frowned at her.

 

“Daddy, I’m fine,” she muttered.

 

“Are you sure?” he said. “Because I can take you back home if you feel like you need another day to yourself.”

 

Her head cocked in confusion and her eyes narrowed on his face as he looked out at her, his concern incredibly visible and touching, but suddenly annoying. She was upset, but she didn’t need coddling.

 

“Yesterday you said I couldn’t skip anymore school over a boy,” she pointed out.

 

“I know, I know,” he said quickly, gripping the steering wheel tightly and gazing out the windshield. “But I was thinking, mental health days are acceptable.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with my mental health, Dad,” Katniss snapped irritably.

 

He shot her a look that had Katniss sagging against the car door. “You’re depressed,” he said.

 

“I’m fine, Dad!” she insisted, though weakly.

 

“Katniss, I know you’re going to be fine, I just don’t think you _are_ fine. It’s just that…” he trailed off when he noticed that her attention was elsewhere.

 

She wasn’t sure what had called her attention to him; maybe it was the way his golden hair caught the sunlight and then threw it back out in all different directions. Her heart dropped as she watched Peeta glance up in her direction. He met her eyes and, though they were quite a distance apart, she saw an incredible well of sadness in him that matched the way she felt perfectly. He hesitated and then changed directions, making his way across the parking lot towards the side entrance of the school instead of the front entrance her father was parked in front of.

 

“Honey…”

 

Katniss looked back at her father in time to see him turning his gaze away from Peeta and back to her. She shook her head quickly and cleared her throat.

 

“I gotta go, Dad,” she mumbled. “Lots of homework to do before class.”

 

She turned and fled, trying to hide the way her eyes were filling with tears. Slipping into the first girl’s bathroom she passed, Katniss threw her book bag on the ground and hooked her hands around the edge of the counter, staring at herself in the mirror.

 

Her silver-grey eyes were red-rimmed and perfectly showcased her misery. Biting the inside of her cheek to distract herself, she lifted her hands and, with her right hand, pinched the skin between the thumb and forefinger on her left hand. She took several deep breaths. When she was convinced that she had curbed the urge to cry, she released her left hand, stooped to pick up her bag from the floor and swept out of the bathroom.

 

“Everdeen!”

 

Katniss wheeled around to find Johanna pushing her way through a crowd of slow-moving students toward her. She was barely an inch taller than the shortest of them, but they all cowered away from her, probably owing to her close-cropped, gelled hair and angry expression. Madge, with her soft, flowing blond hair and sweet, somewhat embarrassed expression, followed close behind in her wake.

 

“Jesus, these damn freshmen need to learn how to walk,” Johanna complained loudly as she reached Katniss and tossed a dark look back at the group of freshmen who were staring resentfully back at her.

 

“Katniss, are you okay?” Madge said quietly, ignoring Johanna.

 

“Yeah, we pulled up right as that awkward stare-down shit went down with Mellark out in the parking lot,” Johanna said, keeping her voice down by her standards, but far too loud for Katniss’ comfort.  

 

“It wasn’t a stare-down,” Katniss said quietly, readjusting her book bag over her shoulder as the three of them turned as one and started walking down the hall towards Johanna’s locker.

 

Johanna started to make some smart retort, but Madge cut her off with a scathing glare.

 

“Either way, we saw it and we just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Madge said gently, looking over at Katniss with concern etched clearly in her features. It made Katniss feel awkward, like she were some sort of wounded animal on exhibit.

 

“It’s not like it’s a big deal, Madge,” she said, trying for offhand, but she was pretty sure she didn’t accomplish her goal, so she continued on, spouting nonsense. “Peeta doesn’t want to talk to me, and that’s fine. And maybe doesn’t even want to look at me, but we go to the same school, and it’s a pretty small school. So we’re going to be around each other whether we like it or not.”

 

“You didn’t answer the question, Everdeen. Madge asked if you were okay,” Johanna cut in as they reached her locker and halted. She twisted her combination lock quickly and then yanked her locker open.

 

“I’m fine,” Katniss insisted, staring at her tennis shoes as Johanna switched out her textbooks.

 

Katniss’ shoelaces caught her attention; they were the same exact shade of blue as Peeta’s eyes. She remembered buying them on one of their bored trips to WalMart when Peeta dared her to buy them and wear them in his name, just a few days after he broke up with Leevy. Her heart ached with the memory.  

 

“You been saying that a lot?” Johanna asked as she slammed her locker shut, and Katniss had to concentrate to recall what they had been talking about.

 

“Maybe,” she hedged, though she insisted that she was fine whenever anyone asked her about Peeta.

 

“Have you meant it?” Madge asked as they started walking towards her locker halfway down the hall from Johanna’s. “Even once?”

 

Katniss hesitated. For some reason, it was a lot easier to pretend with everyone but her two closest girl friends. With them, though, she felt like she could come clean just a little.

 

“I’ll be fine,” she amended.

 

“We know you will, Katniss,” Madge said softly as they came to a halt in front of her locker, touching her shoulder gently. She opened her locker and checked her reflection quickly in the small mirror mounted on the door before she started rummaging inside for things she needed. “But you’re still allowed to be upset now. We’re your friends and we just want to offer a couple of listening ears.”

 

“Yeah, Everdeen,” Johanna said, her voice betraying her bloodlust. “You want to bash that little jackass, I’m here for you.”

 

“Jo!” Madge warned, turning away from her locker to look at Johanna sternly. Katniss had the distinct impression that Madge had been harping on Johanna not to talk bad about Peeta in front of her.

 

“What, Madge?! He’s being a total dick and you know it!” Johanna growled as Madge shut her locker.

 

“Shush!” Madge hissed, glaring at Johanna across Katniss as they started walking again. 

“No, I won’t be quiet, Madge!” Johanna exclaimed, her voice rising above slightly uncomfortably loud and verging on shouting. Madge and Katniss both gestured wildly for her to lower her voice, Katniss looking around worriedly. Johanna rolled her eyes, but complied.

 

“She’s been trying to talk to him for days and he hasn’t even bothered to answer her once. If he was such a great guy, he’d at least text back, let her know he saw what she had to say, that he just needed some time, but he hasn’t done that, has he? He’s just letting her suffer because he took her fucking joke the wrong way. And you know what I think about that?

 

“I think it’s complete bullshit. She made a joke at the wrong time, she tried to explain immediately, but his ego was wounded and he brushed her off; she’s been trying to apologize for four whole days since, but he’s been avoiding her because he’s a little pussy who can’t stand to admit that he overreacted. And you know what the worst bit is? He made her skip school over him. Katniss Everdeen! The girl who hasn’t missed a day of school unless she was practically on her death bed since kindergarten! So, no, Madge. I won’t be quiet about this because in my opinion, Peeta Mellark is the fucking lowest of the low right now.”

 

“He’s hurting, too, Jo.” Katniss’ voice was barely more than a whisper as they turned down the hallway towards her locker. Johanna looked like she was about to continue her anti-Peeta rant, but Katniss shook her head firmly and continued on. “I saw it in his eyes, Jo. He’s hurting. And yeah, you’re right. What I said was a joke. I was kidding and he took what I said the wrong way. I still don’t really get why, but it happened. And I just have to deal with the fact that he doesn’t want to talk to me right now.”

 

“Well… at least you’re not the only one suffering?” Madge said unsurely after a moment.

 

“I thought I would feel that way, too, Madge, but I don’t. I just feel even worse about it, to be honest,” Katniss said miserably as she approached her locker.  

 

“But…”

 

“You don’t understand how much he means to me, Jo. Neither of you do. Hell, I don’t even understand how much he means to me. I just know that when I saw the pain in his eyes a few minutes ago, it almost killed me. And I don’t want him to feel the way he feels, the way I feel. I would feel it twice over if I could spare him from it.”

 

Katniss opened her locker and looked inside blankly. It took her a while to remember what her schedule was, what books she needed. She had only missed a day, but with the drama of the entire week so far, it felt like her first day of high school all over again. She was a complete mess and she knew it.

 

“Jesus Christ…” Johanna mumbled.

 

“You’re in love with him, Katniss,” Madge said quietly, sounding awed and somewhat scared.

 

“Maybe so, but…” Katniss trailed off as she took her calculus book out of her book bag and shoved it back in her locker.

  
“Katniss, the dude is being an idiot,” Johanna said harshly.

 

“Just because he doesn’t feel the same way as me doesn’t mean…”

 

“But he does, Katniss!” Madge interrupted her. “You just said it yourself. He’s suffering as much as you are because he feels exactly the same way you feel.”

 

“And that really just makes this entire situation even worse, you know!” Johanna said, determined to be angry with Peeta.

 

“Jo, could you please stop with this Peeta-hate you have going on? I don’t want to hear it right now,” Katniss said tiredly as she pulled out her American History textbook and stowed it in her book bag.

 

“Fine, whatever,” Johanna agreed grudgingly.

 

“But I don’t know…” Katniss said slowly, once again staring unseeingly into her locker. She wasn’t looking at her textbooks anymore, but recalling the sight of the object of her affection holding hands with another girl. “I still feel like there’s something going on with him and Annie.”

 

“Oh, for the love of God,” Johanna groaned, “you’re not still on about that, are you? I thought we told you your theory is crap!”

  
“Jo,” Katniss said tiredly.

 

“No, Katniss,” Madge said, her voice surprisingly firm. She was supposed to be the gentle, coddling friend. “I think Jo’s right on this one. Annie’s a really sweet girl and Peeta’s always liked her as a friend. In fact, I kind of think he looks at her like a little sister.”

 

“I’m pretty sure Annie’s a few months older than Peeta, actually,” Katniss pointed out stubbornly.

 

“But she’s tiny. Like a smurf, but without the creepy blue skin. She’s even freaking adorable like one,” Johanna said with a sardonic snort.

 

“That makes me feel better about the fact that she and Peeta are…” Katniss started sarcastically, only to be cut off once again by Johanna.

 

“Friends! They’re friends!”

 

“Katniss, I’m pretty sure Annie doesn’t like Peeta, just like I’m almost positive that Peeta doesn’t like Annie because he’s as in love with you as you are with him,” Madge said.  

 

“You didn’t see them on Monday, all holding hands and making eyes at one another,” Katniss said miserably. “Maybe he doesn’t have feelings for me. Maybe he’s just upset because now he knows that I like him and he knows that nothing can ever come of it. Maybe he regrets that our friendship is never going to repair itself.”

 

“No, it’s not going to repair itself because you guys need to make steps to repair it,” Johanna said quickly, then paused and tapped her chin scornfully. “Wait, actually, you’ve been trying, so I guess now it’s all down to him!”

 

“Jo, please stop,” Katniss said for what felt like the thousandth time of the morning.

 

Before Johanna could respond with another series of attacks on Peeta’s character, the bell rang, signaling that it was time for everyone to get to homeroom.

 

“We’ll continue this later, Everdeen,” Johanna said, turning on her heel and making her way away from Katniss and Madge. “Hey, maybe I can give Mellark some hell in homeroom.”

 

“I wish we wouldn’t, Mason,” Katniss said to Johanna’s back as Johanna stalked away down the hall. “And leave him alone, please!”

 

Katniss shook her head on a sigh, shut her locker, and turned to Madge, who was watching her closely.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Katniss?”

 

“I thought you and Jo had already decided that I’m not,” Katniss said as they ambled slowly in the direction of their classrooms.  

 

“And then we all agreed that you _will_ be okay,” Madge said softly, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Katniss, who tensed uncomfortably under the unwelcome embrace. “It’s all going to be just fine, Katniss.”

 

As she watched Madge hurry down the hall, Katniss heaved an annoyed sigh. She was really getting tired of people telling her everything was going to work out. She really couldn’t see how it would.

 

 

“Hey, Katniss?”

 

Katniss looked up as a shy, hesitant voice said her name from beside her. She was in study hall, about half an hour before lunch, working to catch up on the calculus assignment she had missed the day before.

 

“Oh. Hi, Annie,” she said, finding the small girl standing in front of her. Annie smiled and sat down next to her; Katniss had to work hard to remind herself that she liked Annie. It was so hard not to like Annie, even if she was flirting with the guy Katniss liked. “What’s up?”

 

“Oh, nothing,” Annie said nonchalantly. She hefted her purple book bag on the table in front of her, but didn’t take anything out. Instead, she turned to face Katniss, looking hopeful. “Just, have you seen Peeta? I need to talk to him.”

 

“Uh, no, I haven’t,” Katniss said, turning away from Annie to glare at her calculus notes.

 

“Oh, okay. Do you know where he might be?” Annie asked sweetly. She was just so damn kind and shy. Half of Katniss wanted to hate her, but the other half knew she didn’t deserve it.

 

“I haven’t talked to him all week, Annie,” Katniss admitted tiredly, and a bit resentfully. She hadn’t seen or spoken to Peeta in four days, but Annie was getting cozy with him in the library over lunch breaks. “I don’t know where he is.”

 

“Is everything okay, Katniss?” Annie asked.

 

 _Damn it_ , Katniss thought. Now Annie was going to ask all kinds of questions about what was going on. The only person she wanted to talk to about it was Peeta; she was tired of talking about it with everyone else.

 

“He’s just a little mad at me, I guess…” Katniss said, trying to keep her voice offhand as she met Annie’s concerned gaze.

 

“I didn’t know, Katniss! I’m so sorry!” She truly sounded it, which only aggravated Katniss even more.

 

“It’s okay, Annie,” she said, though it really kind of wasn’t. Nothing was okay, really.  

 

“Well, can’t you talk to him about it… whatever it is?” Annie suggested, obviously trying to be helpful. “Peeta’s a reasonable guy. I’m sure if you talk to him, it’ll be okay.”

 

“Yeah, thanks for the advice, Annie,” Katniss said and looked away from her, casting around for a change of topic. “What did you want to talk to Peeta about anyway?”

 

“Oh, Finnick’s coming over to have dinner with my parents tonight,” Annie said nervously. “I was just wondering if he might have some advice for me. I don’t really know what to do.”

 

“Finnick?” Katniss asked, narrowing her eyes at Annie. “Why is _Finnick_ having dinner with your parents?”

 

“Oh, but he asked me to go out with him this weekend! Didn’t you know?” Annie said breathlessly, quickly, with a spastic little smile. “I was really afraid to say yes at first, but Peeta talked to me at lunch on Monday and he made me feel a bit more confident about it. He suggested dinner at my house to get me more comfortable with the idea.”

 

“I didn’t know,” Katniss said softly as relief washed over her swiftly. So Peeta wasn’t chasing after Annie. He was just fulfilling his wingman duties; that was promising.

 

“Yeah, well, it worked for a little while anyway, but now I’m dead terrified again,” Annie admitted, wringing her hands together. “What if I make a fool of myself? What if he decides I’m not worth having to meet my parents before we go out after all?” 

 

“Oh, no. Finn isn’t like that, Annie,” Katniss said. “If he agreed to have dinner with your parents before you even agreed to really go out with him, then he means it. And if Peeta wants to go through with it, then he must know that Finn really likes you.”

 

“They’re kind of best friends, though,” Annie muttered.

 

“So? Peeta wouldn’t intentionally mislead you about Finn’s feelings for you,” Katniss said. “And, anyway, I know Finn has kind of a reputation, but maybe he’s just waiting for the right girl to come along and prove that it’s undeserved. He’s just… he can be annoying at times, but Finn is _good_. He’s really good. And Peeta is just about the best guy in the whole universe. When those two tell corroborating stories, they’re bound to be true.”

 

Annie was watching her closely, a knowing look on her face. Katniss worried that she was going to turn the conversation back to Peeta and Katniss, but then Annie smiled and slipped her arms through the straps of her book bag.

 

“Thanks, Katniss. You’ve made me feel a little better,” she said as she pulled her long hair out from under her book bag. “I still think I’d like to talk to Peeta and see if he has any particular advice for tonight. I guess I’ll keep looking.”

 

“Sure, Annie,” Katniss said with a small, forced smile. Annie waved and started to walk away. “Hey, Annie! Wait!”

 

Annie spun around quickly, eyebrows raised in Katniss’ direction. “Yeah?”

 

“Today’s Thursday. Peeta has free period after lunch, so he leaves campus to eat,” Katniss said quickly. “He goes to help his dad out at the bakery. I’m sure he’d be happy to bring you along.”

 

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother him,” Annie said, shaking her head.

  
“Please, it won’t bother Peeta. He brings friends to help out at the bakery all the time,” Katniss said.

 

Annie still looked uncertain. “I have gym after lunch,” she said.

 

“Oh, and you can’t skip gym, can you?” Katniss joked.

 

“You’re right,” Annie said with a small chuckle. “It’s not exactly a serious subject.”

 

“He always parks under the old oak tree by the gate,” Katniss said. “In case you don’t find him before then.”

 

“Thanks, Katniss. I’ll see you later!” Annie called as she set off in search of Peeta. 

 

So Finnick was after Annie, and Annie was interested. Katniss smiled slowly. There was nothing going on with Peeta and Annie. For the first time since Sunday, she felt hopeful.

 

 

“So, Annie and Finnick are going out,” Johanna said as they exited their Art History class; they had been texting all through class and Katniss had told her all about her conversation with Annie before lunch. “Imagine that. I guess that means she isn’t after Mellark’s magical dick.”

 

“Jo, please…” Katniss said; it seemed to be her phrase of the day.

 

“And since Mellark is apparently Mr. Perfect, I guess that also means he isn’t after Annie because of that whole bro code bullshit,” Johanna continued as if she hadn’t heard Katniss at all.

 

“If I say you were right, will you just let it go, or is that too much to ask for?” Katniss asked.

 

“Way too much,” Johanna said cheerfully.

 

“You were right. Okay?” Katniss was happy to admit it; it wasn’t like she wanted to be right about Peeta’s crush on Annie. “Peeta doesn’t want Annie and she doesn’t want him.”

 

“I’m so shocked,” Johanna said, her hands fluttering to her chest in an ironic gesture.

 

“I guess sarcasm is better than an ‘I told you so,’” Katniss mumbled.

 

“Please, I am far above ‘I told you so’s,” Johanna said, slinging an arm over Katniss’ shoulder cockily. “They’re so elementary. We’re in high school now; I’ve moved on to more sophisticated methods of rubbing it in when I’m right and someone else is wrong.”

 

“Ah, of course. How could I have ever thought otherwise?” Katniss joked. It felt odd to joke after four whole days of moping, but in a good way; she hoped she managed to keep it up.

 

“Why, Miss Everdeen, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you were feeling better,” Johanna said, imitating a southern bell.

 

“Maybe I am,” Katniss said, trying to match Johanna’s affected lilting accent.

 

“Oh, how significant a change finally acknowledging the truth can make,” Johanna said smugly.

 

“Too bad the whole truth still isn’t out,” Katniss said, her mood souring again at once.

 

“Not your problem, Everdeen. It’s his,” Johanna said sternly.

 

“No, it isn’t,” Katniss said, shaking her head stubbornly, almost angrily. “It’s _our_ problem. And we both have to work to fix it.”

 

“Yeah, you both have to work at it. Not just you.”

 

“Jo…”

 

“Look, I don’t do the whole touchy-feely emotional thing, okay?” Johanna said, shifting in a way that Katniss would have thought meant discomfort if not for the fact that Johanna Mason was physically incapable of experiencing discomfort. “But just because I won’t coddle you doesn’t mean I enjoy watching you beat yourself up over something that isn’t entirely your fault.”

 

Katniss paused for a moment to consider Johanna’s words. That might have been the first time that Johanna had actually expressed some kind of emotion in front of her, and it was actually _about_ her.

 

“I know you don’t,” she finally said. “And for what it’s worth, I appreciate you not coddling me. I’m about ready to strangle the next person who approaches me like a wounded animal and tells me that everything is going to be fine. I like that you realize that, for me, everything is not okay yet.”

 

Johanna’s face took on that odd, uncomfortable look again, but she was saved the trouble of finding something to say by a sudden shout from behind them.

 

“Katniss! Jo!”

 

They both turned to find Finnick rushing down the hall towards them. He was coming from the library, so Katniss figured he was probably leaving study hall.

 

“Hey, Finn,” Katniss said as he caught up to them. “What’s going on?”

 

“Just making sure you guys are coming to my party tomorrow night,” he said, falling into step with them. His brow furrowed and his head cocked to the side like adorable confused dog for a moment. “Actually, I don’t remember if I mentioned it to you yet?”

 

“Annie sort of told me about it before lunch,” Katniss said, watching with amusement as Finnick’s face immediately lit up with unmitigated interest.

 

“Oh, you talked to Annie?” he said eagerly, then cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets in the classic ‘unaffected popular guy’ pose.

 

“Yep,” Katniss said, fighting a grin.

 

“How is she?” he asked nonchalantly, but Katniss saw the excitement in his sea-green eyes.

 

“Nervous,” Katniss said truthfully.  

 

“Oh. Yeah, so am I,” Finnick admitted, dropping his unaffected act and running a hand through his hair.

 

“About what?” Johanna asked; Katniss could tell she was aggravated at having been kept out of the conversation thus far.

 

“Dinner with her parents tonight, Jo,” Katniss reminded her.  

 

“But you didn’t tell us that part!” Johanna exclaimed. “You just said they were going out!”

 

“We’re not going out yet. I have to win over her parents first,” Finnick said, glancing over at Johanna, amusement at her reaction lighting up his handsome face. “That’s why I’m so nervous. I’ve never actually met any girl’s parents before.”

 

“You’ll do fine, Finn,” Katniss said bracingly. “Just be your regular old charming self.”

 

“Yeah, well I don’t think Mr. Cresta will be too fond of me if I charm the pants right off his wife,” Finnick said with a roguish grin.

 

“Oh, cut that Mr. Irresistible crap if you want to win Annie over, Finnick,” Johanna snapped. Finnick started and stared at her, wide-eyed. “That’ll get you nowhere with her or her parents.”

 

“But Katniss said…” he trailed off, uncertain.

 

“There’s a world of difference between charming and obnoxious, Finn,” Katniss told him gently. “You know the balance.”

 

“Right. Charming, not obnoxious. God, I really hope I live through tonight,” Finnick groaned. “Anyway, we got off topic. You guys coming tomorrow?”

 

“Hell yeah!” Johanna said immediately. “We’ll bring Madge.”

 

“Awesome.”

 

“Actually, Finn, I don’t know…” Katniss said with a small, uncomfortable shrug. Peeta was bound to be there and, after his reaction to seeing her across the parking lot this morning, she didn’t think she should push her luck with him.

 

“Come on, Katniss,” Johanna pleaded.

 

“I just don’t think Peeta would want me there,” she said with a small, sad smile.

 

“Well, guess what, Kat? It isn’t his party. And I want you there,” Finnick said, patting her shoulder bracingly.

 

“We’ll be there,” Johanna said certainly, answering for Katniss again. “All three of us.”

 

“Jo,” Katniss protested.

 

“Don’t try to talk your way out of it, Katniss. You know you want to come,” Johanna said with a stern look in her direction.

 

“I just don’t want Peeta to get even angrier with me,” Katniss said in a small voice.

 

“He’s not mad,” Finnick said immediately, shaking his head. “He’s confused. And hurt, though I told him that was stupid.”

 

“Should you be telling me this?” Katniss asked, sure that Finnick was breaking some sort of guy code.

 

“Probably not. But it’s for his own good, isn’t it?” Finnick shrugged and then grinned at them. “Hey, maybe if he gets a little drunk tomorrow, he’ll actually talk to you and you guys can clear it all up.”

 

“Genius!” Johanna exclaimed, slapping Finnick a high five. She turned to Katniss and took on her frightening, bloodthirsty expression. “Don’t be afraid to punch him a couple times as you’re explaining yourself, Everdeen. He deserves it. And if your knee finds his balls, eh, too bad.”

 

Finnick flinched as the tardy bell rang. “Ever the way with words, Johanna. Anyway, I’ve got to get to gym. I’ll see you ladies around. Katniss, you’d better be at my house tomorrow night at nine.”

 

Katniss watched Finnick sprint down the hall and through the doors that led to the courtyard separating the main school building from the gym. She turned to Johanna and sighed as they headed to their final class of the day, computer science.

 

“I hope you know what you’re getting me into, Mason.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I hope you all enjoy this chapter.   
> Thanks for reading, commenting, and for leaving kudos so far!! I always appreciate it!   
> You can follow me on tumblr. I'm ilikewatchingyousleep.   
> Sorry- I'm in kind of a rush to post because I meant to have this up two days ago! Sorry for the delay!


	5. 5

"You're gonna come over early to help get everything ready tonight, right?"

Peeta looked around, surprised, as Finnick came barreling toward him seemingly from nowhere while he was walking past the cafeteria on his way from American History to Art.

"What?" he asked, hiking his book bag higher up on his shoulder. He shrugged, but didn't tell Finnick that he wasn't even sure if he wanted to go to the party at all. "No, I wasn't planning on it."

Finnick had never asked him to come to his house and help out before a party; he didn't get why he should start now. Sure, he had gone early to hang out and to pre-game on a couple of occasions, but Finnick didn't need help setting up. He was pretty sure there was an ulterior motive there and he was suspicious.

"Come on, dude!" Finnick pleaded, slinging a heavy arm around Peeta's shoulders.

"Why?" Peeta said, shrugging Finnick's arm off and looking over to watch his friend's face closely. "What do you possibly need to get ready? Make sure your stereo system is up and running and lay all the alcohol out on the table. Takes like five minutes. If that."

"I know," Finnick said in a pained voice, and Peeta knew he was about to find out the real reason that Finnick wanted him there early. He feared Finnick needed help cleaning his house despite the cleaning service his aunt paid to come by twice a week. "But people aren't coming until nine and I told Annie's dad I would pick her up at seven."

"So?" That was even less motivation for Peeta to go over early than the idea of cleaning Finnick's aunt's mansion.  _Two hours of being a third wheel? Sign me up!_

"So, that's two whole hours alone in my house!" Finnick exclaimed, stopping and turning Peeta to face him. Peeta almost smiled at the panic that showed clearly on his friend's face as he whispered, "What am I gonna do with her?"

"Finn, you have never had a problem coming up with things to do alone with a girl for two hours," he pointed out.

"I know, but it's not the same," Finnick insisted. "She isn't like that."

"Finn," Peeta said, but stopped himself before he could continue. What could he possibly say? Finnick was right; Annie wasn't like all the other girls Finnick had gone out with. She was special. He was glad Finnick recognized that.

"No, Peeta. I don't just want to spend two hours coming on to her and making out with her," Finnick said. "I mean, I do eventually. But tonight I want to talk to her. Just…"

"Then talk to her," Peeta said simply and started moving down the hall again.

"For two hours?" Finnick exclaimed incredulously, like the idea of just talking to a girl for two hours was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. Peeta just nodded as Finnick trailed along behind him. "About what?!"

"About your childhood," Peeta suggested, glancing back at Finnick, who looked impressed, like he could never have come up with that topic on his own. Peeta rolled his eyes and kept rattling off generic first date conversation suggestions. "About her friends before she moved here. About swimming, for God's sake. You're both swimmers! Dude, just ask her questions. And let her ask you questions. Talk about movies. Hell, you can even watch a movie if you don't want to have to fill all that space with conversation. You have two hours. Do whatever comes to mind."

"But it would be so much easier to talk to her if you were there, Peet. She's comfortable around you. She likes you; she would talk around you," Finnick said pleadingly. Peeta was sure that Finnick would be batting his eyelashes and trying to seduce his acquiescence from him if Peeta were a girl.

"Dude, she likes me, but she  _likes_  you," Peeta said. "And I am not hanging around you guys while you're on a date! I'm sorry, but I'm not doing it!" Peeta shook his head firmly while Finnick continued to pout at him. "Look, man. You are the most easygoing guy I know. You can talk to anyone. What's so intimidating about Annie?"

"I  _like_  her. Peet, I could barely ask her out. I almost stuttered," he said quietly, leaning closer to Peeta conspiratorially.

"I'm sorry," Peeta choked, turning to face him full on. "Did you say you almost _stuttered_? How exactly do  _you_  almost stutter?"

"I couldn't think for a minute there and I got all choked up and I almost started stuttering and stammering and going all shy. That doesn't happen to me! I don't think I like it!" Finnick said, his voice going high and taking on a slightly manic tone.

"Well…" Peeta trailed off, enjoying the image of his confident and cocky friend tripping over his words talking to a pretty girl.

"Stop it," Finnick said, backhanding Peeta in the chest. "I know you're imaging me losing my cool with her. Stop it now." Peeta only laughed for what must have been the first time since Sunday. Finnick sighed and rolled his shoulders. "Are you sure you don't want to come over early? You don't even have to come at seven. How about eight?"

"Dude, I don't even know if I'm going to your party," Peeta admitted.

"What?" Finnick exclaimed, stopping in his tracks and staring at Peeta like he had just made some truly awful and shocking confession, like maybe he had five kids he hadn't told anyone about. "Dude, why? No, you have to come!"

"Finn, I just don't feel like partying," he said, looking imploringly at his friend.

 _Please let me off the hook, please don't make me come out tonight_ , he thought.

"So you're going to spend your Friday night moping instead?" Finnick said, and Peeta knew he wasn't going to win this argument. Still, he argued for argument's sake.

"I don't mope," he grumbled, though he knew that was exactly what he had been doing, locked up in his bedroom, only leaving to eat, shower, work and go to school.

"Please, you've done nothing but mope all week," Finnick said.

"Dude, I convinced Annie to give you a shot," Peeta pointed out, though he wasn't sure if that counted as not moping.

"Okay, I'll give you that one solely because I owe you for it, but other than that, tell me one non-mopey activity you've gotten into," Finnick insisted.

"I've… been… busy with homework," Peeta said lamely. He knew it wouldn't work before the words had even left his mouth.

"Really? Homework is the best you got? Dude, you're coming to my party tonight. You have no choice," Finnick said authoritatively, clapping Peeta on the shoulder.

"Finnick," Peeta pleaded.

"No, Peeta. I need you there," Finnick said before Peeta even had the chance to try to worm his way out of the party again. "Who else can I trust to make sure no assholes fuck up my house when I bring Annie home at midnight? Oh, yeah, that's one of Mr. Cresta's rules. Midnight curfew."

"Hey, at least he didn't say ten," Peeta said somewhat grudgingly. He really wished Finnick would just let him get away with not going to this one party.

"Shit, man, you're right. That would have sucked. Hey, I gotta run. I'm gonna be late for Physics," Finnick said hurriedly. "You're coming to my party tonight. I won't take no for an answer."

"Sure. See you," Peeta said as Finnick turned and rushed off down the hall. Maybe by the time the party started, Finnick would be so distracted after spending two hours alone with Annie that he would forget all about Peeta. Maybe he could get away with not going to his party after all.

Peeta turned the corner by the library and caught sight of a familiar head of long, silky blond hair at a locker about halfway down the hall.

"Hey, Prim," he said as he neared her.

Katniss' little sister glanced over her shoulder at the sound of her name, saw him, and immediately turned back to her open locker, her face taking on an expression that wasn't really a glare, but came too close for Peeta's liking.

"Prim? Hey, is everything okay?" Peeta frowned when Prim acted like she hadn't heard him. "What's going on?"

He didn't get it. He and Prim had always gotten along really well; it was almost like she was his own little sister. He didn't like the fact that she seemed to be upset with him. Wondering if it had anything to do with Katniss, he took a step closer to her so that he could speak quietly.

"Prim, listen. Anything going on with me and Katniss doesn't need to affect you," he murmured close to her ear. Prim just continued emptying her messenger bag of books and stacking them inside her locker. "Please talk to me?" he said.

Prim took a book out of her locker and shoved it into her bag just as another voice called from down the hall.

"Hey, Prim!" a tall, dark-haired boy raised his voice as he jogged down the hall towards them. Peeta eyed him just as the younger boy looked him up and down suspiciously as he drew near; he looked vaguely familiar. "You ready to go?"

"Oh, yeah, Rory. I just need my geometry textbook and then we can go study," Prim said with a brilliant smile at the tall boy standing beside her. She tossed her silky hair over her shoulder and Peeta frowned at what he perceived as a flirtatious move.

"Seriously, Prim? Are you just not going to talk to me at all?" he said angrily. "Just going to pretend I don't exist?"

Her little boyfriend – Rory, apparently – stepped closer to her, glaring suspiciously at Peeta. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

Prim laid a hand on Rory's arm and nodded. "Everything's fine," she told him with a reassuring smile before she glared at Peeta and turned to slam her locker shut. "He's just my sister's jackass friend."

She started to stalk off down the hall with Rory, but Peeta called out to her again.

"Really, Prim? I don't think you're being very fair to me," he said, not bothering to disguise the hurt in his voice. He really thought Prim considered him a big brother.

Prim whirled around and put her hands on her hips, surveying him angrily as Rory looked on from beside her, completely confused. "Oh, I'm sorry, Peeta," she said in a faux-sweet voice that had Peeta cringing. "Does it hurt your feelings to be ignored? Huh, and I'm just your best friend's kid sister. Or, is she even your friend anymore? Because she has no idea, and it's killing her. You self-righteous asshat."

Peeta stood there in the middle of the hall staring after Prim with his mouth hanging open in shock. The tardy bell rang and he groaned, snapping his mouth shut as he turned and set off down the hall to his class. The Everdeen girls were going to kill him before he graduated high school.

* * *

He was so impossibly tired, and he had been all week. It wasn't even a particularly busy week; he only had wrestling practice twice and he'd only worked at the bakery after school once this week. Really, he shouldn't have been so tired. He had experienced far more strenuous weeks than this past one and retained a significant amount more energy than he currently had.

As soon as he got home, he threw himself on the couch, turned on the TV, and slept. And, sleeping, dreamed.

He was at a restaurant, with Katniss sitting across from him holding his hand in the middle of the table around their half-eaten plates of food. Her hair was loose and wavy, having been released from its braid moments before they left the house to come eat and her face was lightly made up. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She was gazing across at him with adoration, her expression gentler and more affectionate than he had ever seen it in real life. A slow smile stretched across her lips that had Peeta's heart beating faster. He felt his lips stretch to mirror hers without any conscious effort on his part as her hand contracted in his briefly.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Suddenly, the table was clear as Katniss leaned her upper body just a couple inches closer to him across the table with a coy grin. Peeta felt himself leaning in as well, his cock reacting to the intentionally seductive tone of her voice.

"Definitely." He grinned broadly, pushing quickly to his feet and offering his hand to her, but they were already home. It wasn't his father's house or her parents' house, but somewhere else entirely, somewhere distinctly  _theirs_.

They were on the couch watching a movie, but Peeta wasn't paying much attention to what was happening on screen. He was obsessed with the feel of her next to him, her shoulder leaning into his chest, her head on his shoulder, her hand clasped with his on his lap, the soft skin of her shoulder sending an arousing shock of energy through his bare arm that was wrapped warmly around her.

Slowly shifting the arm around her shoulder down behind her, he ran his hand down her bare arm, smirking to feel the goosebumps rising on her skin. Reaching her hand, he covered the top of it with his own and threaded his fingers through hers, grinning at the feel of the diamond ring pressing into his palm over her left ring finger. He lifted the hands they had joined in his lap, and brought hers to his lips. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Katniss shift her head to watch him, her chin resting on his shoulder. Smiling slightly, he shifted his lips along the line of her arm, lightly nibbling at her skin.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" she whispered when he had run out of room to maneuver his neck and met her eyes hungrily, his mouth still pressed to her skin.

"Why? Is it working?" He lifted his head and grinned at her. Katniss grinned right back and lunged for him.

Then they were in bed, both naked. Katniss was on top of him, her legs spread wide over his abdomen as she grasped his hands tightly in hers and held them out to the side and leaned down to press her lips to his. Peeta smirked against her triumphant grin and rolled over on top of her, pressing her back into the mattress. Katniss rolled her eyes at him, but smiled and released his hands to run her fingers through his shaggy curls.

Peeta kissed her lips quickly, then began to kiss a line down her neck. His kisses grew slower and longer the further down he moved, until he pulled her pebbled nipple into his mouth and laved his tongue over the sensitive purple bud. Katniss moaned and shifted beneath him, pressing her hips up against his. Peeta lifted his hips away playfully and moved to her other breast, scraping his teeth lightly against the tip. He sucked it into his mouth and dragged his tongue against her flesh a few times before he pulled away and placed a light kiss on her breast and moved on down her body.

He reached her waist and sat back on his heels, looking up into Katniss' face. Her chest was heaving and she was staring at him, a wild look in her quicksilver eyes as she stared down at him. Peeta grinned, delighted as always with the effect he had on her, and dragged his hands down her body to pry her thighs apart.

Licking his lips, he let his gaze slide slowly downward.

He was in the same restaurant again, but he was alone this time, picking at a plate of pasta as he studied a notebook in front of him. He was doing the books for the bakery in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

"Peeta?" a hesitant voice said.

He looked up from his work and gazed up at a beautiful woman in a deep purple dress through black-rimmed glasses.

"Katniss?" He gaped up at the girl he had loved in high school, suddenly a woman he hadn't seen in almost a decade, and closed the book hastily, pointing to the empty seat in front of him. "Would… would you like to sit?"

"Oh. No, thanks. My fiancé is actually waiting for me." Katniss gestured toward a table on the other side of the restaurant. Peeta recognized the scowling, suspicious man with the dark hair and handsome face.

"Gale Hawthorne?" he said, trying to ignore the way his heart suddenly ached in his chest.

"Well, yeah. After you and I sort of… fell apart, Gale and I got close again," she explained. "It took a while for him to convince me to give it another go because I was so heartbroken over you, but –"

Peeta's heart gave an unpleasant lurch. "What? Heartbroken? Over me?"

"Yeah." Katniss hesitated, then shrugged as if deciding that she probably would never get another chance to tell him how she had felt. "I was practically in love with you, but you just stopped talking to me after I kissed you. I tried to explain it to you, but you never really gave me the chance."

Peeta stared at her, horrified. She had loved him? She wanted to be with him? But that was what he wanted, too. After an awkward moment, he forced a laugh.

"Huh, I was half in love with you in high school, too."

"Well, I guess things work out for the best, don't they?" Katniss gave a short chuckle and shook her head. "If we had gotten together then, I might not have ever gotten back together with Gale. And you! You might not have gone on to open the most successful bakery in the country! Congratulations, by the way."

"Thanks." Peeta nodded, but he felt ill. He could have had a successful relationship with the woman of his dreams if he had only given her the chance to talk to him. Instead, he had a successful business and a steady rotation of gold-digging women sharing his bed. "Congratulations to you, too, by the way. Engaged. Wow."

"Thank you!" Katniss smiled weakly at him and glanced over her shoulder to see Gale watching them closely. "Well, I should probably get back. It's our anniversary."

"Oh. Yeah." Peeta nodded. "It was nice to see you again, Katniss."

"You too, Peeta!" she said, and was gone.

He was in the cafeteria at school, sitting next to Katniss at their crowded lunch table. She was biting her lip and looking around, clearly distressed.

"Look, Peeta," she said. "I just… I didn't realize you felt that way."

His heart beat wildly in his chest.

"I just thought we could have some fun together," she continued, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "But I really didn't think you would want to actually…  _be_  together."

The cafeteria was more packed than Peeta had ever seen it before, but there wasn't a sound except for Katniss' heartbreaking explanation. He looked around; the entire school was staring right back at him, their expressions varying from cruelly amused to pitying.

Peeta shot up to a sitting position on the couch in his father's house. He felt sick to his stomach, lightheaded and clammy all over. Glancing around, he saw that everything looked the same as it did in reality, but still he pinched himself hard just to be sure he was really awake. His whole body jolted from the pain and he hissed, but lowered himself to lie down again, covering his face in his hands.

"Fucking dreams," he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

His phone chimed in his pocket and he blinked, suddenly noticing that it had gone dark outside. His dad walked out of the kitchen as he was fishing his phone out of his pocket.

"Oh, good. You're awake. Your phone rang a couple times, but you slept right through it," he said and Peeta nodded groggily.

Glancing at his phone, he groaned to see that it was already 9:05. He had slept five fucking hours and he didn't feel even slightly rested. And he had a missed call and two texts from Finnick. Just great.

The first one, from almost half an hour ago, read  _Party time!_

The second one, from just a few minutes ago, said  _I'm not shitting around, Peeta. You'd better show tonight. You can't mope forever._

He assumed that the first partygoers must have arrived for Finnick to realize that Peeta was late. Even when he didn't go over early to hang out before a party, Peeta was always the first one over.

"Hey, isn't Finnick having a party tonight?" his dad said, his voice suddenly very near to Peeta.

"Uh, yeah. It just started," he said, gesturing to his phone. "That's why he's been trying to reach me."

"You're going, aren't you?" His dad was watching him, his mouth drawn and his eyebrows furrowed. Peeta hated to see the worry on his father's face.

"I don't particularly feel like it," he said, "but Finn will kill me if I don't."

"Well, I think it'll be good for you to go out and have some fun after this week." He didn't say it, but Peeta could tell from his father's tone that he agreed with Finnick and thought that Peeta had been moping all week.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going." Grumbling, Peeta shoved to his feet and started to trudge his way to the stairs, tapping out a text to Finnick on his way:  _I'll be there soon. I have to shower._

A little more than half an hour later, Peeta was walking up the steps to Finnick's aunt's house, which was really more of a mansion than anything else. Although only the two of them lived there, Aunt Mags' house boasted nine bedrooms, three sitting rooms, two dining rooms, two living rooms, a library, and seven full bathrooms, not to mention the indoor swimming pool and the basement equipped with its own kitchen and a wide variety of methods of entertainment: pool table, ping pong table, Wii,  _and_  Xbox, _and_ PlayStation, and a state-of-the-art home theatre system. When Aunt Mags had learned that she was inheriting her young nephew, it could be argued that she went a little overboard preparing for his arrival.

There weren't as many people inside as Peeta had expected there to be, but then, you could never really get an accurate reading on how many people were in Finnick's house thanks to the sheer overwhelming size of it. He passed through the foyer where a few people were milling around, glanced in the first sitting room, but didn't see Finnick, so he passed on through to the living room. A quick glance-through told him that Finnick wasn't in the living room, either, so he headed for the kitchen.

A couple of people called out greetings to him as he passed through, and Peeta nodded wordlessly, not even taking the time to register who was speaking. The only reason he was even at this damn party was because Finnick had made him come; he wasn't about to spend hours talking to people he had no interest in. If anything, he would find Finnick, say hi just to show his face, then disappear to the basement –Finnick always made sure to keep people out of the basement when he threw parties so they didn't wreck any of the ridiculously expensive stuff there– for a few hours until Finnick got back from bringing Annie home, and then he was leaving. With any luck, he would be home and in his bed by 12:30.

"Peet!" Finnick shouted as soon as Peeta stepped into the kitchen. He and Annie were standing at the sink; she was running a paper towel under the faucet as Finnick leaned against the counter right next to the sink facing her, and the door.

"Hey, guys." Peeta glanced around the kitchen. There were only a few other people Peeta recognized from school in the kitchen, but they were all on the other side of the room fixing drinks and paid no attention as Peeta walked over to Finnick to clasp hands with him in greeting. "Sorry I'm late. I fell asleep when I got home. What's going on?"

"Annie knocked my Coke right out of my hands a minute ago and it spilled all over her jeans." Finnick grinned at Peeta, winking. "She can't keep her hands off me."

"Shut up." Annie rolled her eyes, her cheeks blushing a beautiful pink as she turned around and started dabbing at the large, wet brown spot on her left thigh. Finnick just beamed down at her and swung his arm over her shoulders, pulling her into his side. Annie squeaked quietly as she fell against him, taking a moment to spare him a flirty glare before she continued dabbing at her jeans. "How's it going, Peeta?"

"Alright." Peeta shrugged as he studied his two friends. Their closeness only made Peeta feel lonelier. He hated that he felt sorry for himself more than happy for the two of them. "I guess you guys had a good pre-party date. You look pretty cozy."

Annie and Finnick looked at each other and made identical faux-grossed-out faces before laughing lightly. Peeta forced himself to smile when they turned back to him.

"It was pretty good." Finnick's nonchalant shrug, combined with the way Annie's adoring look mirrored Finnick's, told Peeta that it was more than 'pretty good.'

"Awesome." He cleared his throat. "Well, I'm gonna go mingle and leave you two… to it."

"Oh, you don't have to!" Annie smiled widely at him. "We'd love to hang out with you!"

"Yeah, no. I just saw some people out there that I haven't talked to in a while," Peeta lied. When Annie turned to throw away the paper towel, he gave Finnick a look that told him quite clearly that he still refused to be their third wheel. Finnick rolled his eyes at him as Annie turned back to face them; Peeta forced the smile back onto his face and started backing out of the kitchen. "See you guys around."

He started to make his way through the living room towards the basement, but stopped when he caught sight of a long, dark braid. He started to walk over to her, deciding that it was time they should work this shit out already, but his insides clenched when he saw the tall, dark mass of testosterone walking along behind her. He immediately wheeled around and stalked back into the kitchen.

"What the fuck is Hawthorne doing here?" he demanded. Finnick and Annie both looked up with wide eyes, apparently surprised by his sudden change of attitude.

"What?" Finnick asked, stepping toward Peeta.

"Gale fucking Hawthorne," he hissed. "What is he doing here?"

"Uh, I don't know." Finnick shrugged, and Peeta believed him, but that did nothing to dispel his rage. "He and Kat are friends, aren't they? She probably asked him to come."

"Yeah, and what is  _she_ doing here?" Peeta ignored the voice in his head that told him he had been almost happy to see her a minute ago, before he spotted Gale.

"Well,  _she_ is  _my_ friend. And, as this is  _my_ party, I wanted her here," Finnick said firmly.

"You know I don't want to talk to her," Peeta said through gritted teeth. He didn't know why he was so angry. For one, the sight of Hawthorne after that messed up dream of his only served to piss him off. He also just didn't like feeling like his friends were conspiring against him and trying to corner him into doing something he wasn't sure he wanted to do. And he especially didn't like seeing  _him_  standing at Katniss' shoulder like a fucking bodyguard or boyfriend or fucking fiancé.

"Yeah, well maybe this isn't about  _you_ , Peeta. Maybe I wanted to hang out with  _all_  of my friends tonight," Finnick said, stepping back to Annie's side. "Like it or not, Peet, you're not my only friend. And just because you're cutting someone out of your life doesn't mean I'm cutting them out too."

"That's completely..." Peeta sputtered, at a loss for words. "That's be- that's beside the point."

"Is it really, Peeta? Well then, please, inform me. What exactly is the point?"

Peeta didn't know what the point was. He didn't even know if there was a point, other than the fact that he was insanely jealous of Gale Hawthorne. There was no way in hell he was admitting that, so he just turned around and stalked across the kitchen to fix himself a drink.

He poured a significant amount of Jack in a red cup with ice and added just a splash of Coke and left the kitchen. He didn't look up from the brown liquid in his cup, sloshing precariously close to the lip of his cup, as he practically sprinted for the basement door that led to his solitude.

He had planned on watching a bit of TV, or maybe playing a little Skyrim or a solo game of pool, but instead of any of that, he sat on the cold, hard ground in Finnick's dark basement and drank and brooded.

Stupid Gale Hawthorne had to show up at Finnick's party with Katniss less than an hour after Peeta's dream that he had stolen Katniss from him. What a fucking prick.

 _Oh, shut up_ , Peeta thought to himself.  _She isn't yours. You've seen to that yourself._

 _She doesn't want to be mine anyway_ , said a dark voice in his head. Peeta scowled and took a large gulp of Jack. Since he hadn't stirred the Coke in, it had all stayed on top of the Jack and was gone after his first sip. Now he was pretty much drinking straight alcohol.

_And how the fuck do you know what she wants? You won't talk to her._

_She could have tried harder._

_How? You've been avoiding her, you idiot! She's texted you eleven fucking times and you haven't replied! Did you want her to show up at your work? Oh, wait, she actually did that. You just weren't there. How about your house? Did you want her to show up at your house and beg you to listen?_

_Yes_ , he thought.

 _No, you didn't. You would have turned her_ away, said the voice he decided to label Good Peeta.  _You didn't want anything to do with her. You didn't want to hear from her._

 _It hasn't even been a week. She's a whore for being with Hawthorne already._ He decided to call this voice Bad Peeta.

 _They're friends, asshat,_  Good Peeta thought. _And since you were so careful to see to it that there was never anything going on between you anyway, there would be nothing wrong with her being with him anyway._

 _She used me._ Bad Peeta was a little bitch, but he had a point.

 _You don't know that._ Okay, maybe Good Peeta had a fair point too.

 _I don't want to talk to her,_ Bad Peeta said stubbornly.

 _I need to talk to her,_ Peeta thought reasonably.  _  
_

 _I just want to talk to her,_  he admitted to himself.

"I also want the voices in my head to go the fuck away," he said aloud, discarding his suddenly empty cup and pressing the heels of his hands to his eyelids as his head spun. He was so fucked. And he really needed to piss already. Shit.

He struggled to his feet and stumbled up the stairs, fumbling for the doorknob in the dark. And also probably because he was already kind of drunk, but he was going to blame the darkness.

Finally getting the door open, he squinted in the sudden light of the living room and headed for the hall bathroom. He was going to be pissed if there was already someone in there. Much to his relief, the knob turned when he grasped it and there was no one inside.

When he left the bathroom, he went back to the kitchen to fix himself another drink.

"Peet." Finnick's voice sounded from across the room, cautious and worried.

"What?" he said without turning around. He made another Jack and Coke with similar proportions to his first one, then stuck his finger in the cup and swirled it around for a few seconds.

"Dude, are you already drunk?" Peeta didn't like the judgmental tone in Finnick's voice.

"No, I'm not." He sucked his finger into his mouth, licking the Jack and Coke off of himself as he started to make his way back to the basement. He was too busy brooding to deal with people, damn it.

"Peeta." A firm hand on his shoulder turned him around. Already slightly unsteady on his feet, Peeta stumbled and his drink sloshed over the lip of the cup. Peeta sighed and looked up at Finnick. "You've been gone less than half an hour and you come back drunk? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's a party, dude. Chill!"

"That would be fine if you were actually partying and not sitting alone in my basement."

Finnick wasn't supposed to judge him; Finnick was supposed to be his friend and support him even when he did stupid stuff. Peeta didn't like this Finnick. He started to say as much, but stopped short when he saw who stood behind Finnick.

There was Annie, of course, looking worried and a bit scared. Next to her, Katniss stood staring at him sadly. Johanna, Madge, and Gale were all there as well, but they didn't appear to be paying much attention to him, engrossed instead in their own conversation.

"Well," Peeta said shortly. "Don't let me interrupt. Get back to your many  _friends_."

He walked away and had the door to the basement open already when he heard Finnick call his name again. Finnick followed him down into the basement and flicked on the light as Peeta threw himself down on the couch.

"No, really, I wouldn't want you to think you had to entertain me. I know I'm not your only friend, so get back to all your great friends, Mr. Popular." Peeta was conflicted. He didn't want to be mean to Finnick, but he didn't want to be badgered about Katniss anymore.

"Oh, cut your shit, Peeta," Finnick growled. "You've been a real pain in the ass all week."

"Well, then why don't you just cut me out?" Peeta suggested with a careless shrug. It was what he wanted, to just be left alone.

"That's your gig, not mine." Finnick made a sweeping gesture towards the door and Peeta looked up to see Katniss and Annie standing at the foot of the stairs watching them unsurely.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Finn?" He finally exploded, jumping to his feet and stepping towards Finnick. "Can't you just leave it alone? I don't want to deal with this! What did you do? Beg her to come so you could all team up on me?"

"Shut the hell up, Peeta," Finnick snapped, throwing his hands up. "You're being a fucking prick and you know it. You  _want_  to work this out. You  _want_ to hear what she has to say. So give her a God damn chance!"

"You're a real jackass, you know that?" Peeta growled, clenching his fist. "You just have to get involved where you don't belong!"

"You're shitting me, right, dude? You're the one who dragged me out of my bed at five in the damn morning on Monday to bitch about it!" Finnick's breath was coming quick and Peeta knew he was getting really mad. He should back down and let them both cool down, but he didn't want to.

"If I could take it back, I would. I didn't realize you would be on my dick to be a little bitch about this."

"But you  _are_  being a little bitch, Peeta," Finnick shouted. "You're acting like something horribly offensive happened, but there was nothing,  _nothing_  offensive there. If you would just listen, you would be fine. Everything would be fine. But, no, you're determined to be a whiny little bitch and block it all out."

"Please, just stop!"

Peeta turned around at the sound of Katniss' voice. He had almost forgotten she and Annie were watching them. She had taken a step toward them. Annie quickly darted to Finnick's side when Peeta turned his attention to Katniss.

"No, I'm pissed off!" Peeta shouted at her.

"Then I'll go, okay? I'll go and you don't need to be pissed off anymore!" Katniss exclaimed, moving closer so that she was standing a couple feet away from him. She was so goddamn beautiful it made his chest ache. "I'll leave here and I won't try to talk to you again and I'll pretend we were never friends, okay? That's what you want, isn't it? I'll do it, just stop this nonsense because Finnick doesn't deserve your shit."

 _No, that's not what I want_ , Good Peeta,  _real_  Peeta, thought. But he wasn't Good Peeta at the moment. He was Angry Peeta. He was Irrational Peeta.

"Yes, that would be great! Stop fucking texting me and stop staring at me at school and stop trying to talk to me!" He didn't mean a word of it; he didn't want her to take him seriously, but he could see in her face that she did.

"Fine," she said quietly, looking at him with oddly blank silver-grey eyes before she looked past him to Finnick. "I'm sorry, Finn. I shouldn't have come."

"Don't be stupid, Kat. I made you agree to come," Finnick said softly. "Don't listen to him, though. He doesn't mean a word of it."

"Finn…"

Katniss trailed off when Peeta rushed up to Finnick and shoved him, hard, in the chest. Annie gave a little shriek of terror and flew back a few steps, away from Finnick, who looked about ready to clock Peeta, away from Peeta, who would welcome a hit.

"Why the fuck won't you stop trying to force me into shit I tell you I don't want?" he shouted, but he did want it. He wanted to talk to Katniss so badly he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Because you do want it!" Finnick screamed, stepping up right in his face. His normally handsome face was red and contorted in almost a grotesque fashion. It was oddly fascinating to see Finnick Odair make an unattractive face. "I'm your friend, okay? And I'm not going to just sit back while you fuck your life up because you're too much of a fucking pussy to admit what you really want."

Peeta drew his hand back, fisted, ready to punch Finnick right in his pretty-boy face even though everything he had said was true.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Katniss screamed, jumping in and shoving Peeta away from Finnick. "This is so fucked up!"

"Why can't everyone just leave me the fuck alone? I don't want to talk about it; can't you people understand? Finn, you're my friend, but do friends really pull this shit? Trying to trick me into talking it all out with her? Well fuck you!" Peeta shouted, but he didn't know why the fuck he kept denying how badly he wanted to talk to her. "And your little sister," he continued, turning on Katniss, "who was a complete bitch to me today."

"Don't you fucking dare, Peeta Mellark," Katniss said, her voice low and dangerous as she stepped closer to Peeta, a fiercely protective glare coming over her face. "You can be mad at me all you want, but don't you fucking dare say a word about my sister. I swear to God, I will kick your ass!" She drew herself up to her full height, just a couple inches shorter than Peeta, and got in his face, her finger drilling itself into his chest. He thought for a minute she might hit him. He probably deserved it.

"Okay, why don't we all just calm down?" Finnick said, reason suddenly returning to him now that Katniss was the livid one. He placed a hand on Katniss' shoulder and looked imploringly at Peeta.

"Man, fuck you!" Peeta exclaimed. He didn't want to calm down. Calming down meant being sad again; he preferred this newfound anger to that, irrational as it was.

"No, fuck you, Peeta!" Katniss exclaimed, practically spitting in anger. He had never thought she looked more like a cat than when she was so angry with him. He hated himself for thinking she was just so damn cute when she was dangerously angry. "You're mad at me and you're taking it out on Finnick? Please, just stop. He doesn't deserve this."

"Stay out of this, Katniss. This isn't about you," Peeta growled, but Katniss just glared at him.

"No, I won't stay out of this because it is about me!" she said angrily. "You've been treating me like shit for the past week and acting like I don't exist. You've been torturing me, and yourself, because you just don't fucking understand what I meant last weekend and you refuse to give me a chance to explain myself so fuck it, and fuck you! I'm done! I don't need to put up with this!"

"Then don't!" Peeta yelled back. "I thought you might get the message when I refused to talk to you or answer any of your texts, Katniss! I don't want to talk to you! So stop trying!"

 _Please don't stop trying_ , he thought, but would never say aloud.  _Don't give up on me. I still want to be your friend. I just need time._

"Fine!" Katniss shouted and, spinning on her heel, sprinted up the stairs.

"Katniss!" he heard a concerned voice call out from behind him, followed by what sounded gut-wrenchingly like a sob, but he didn't turn to see who had come down into the basement behind him. He turned to the side, glaring at Finnick, and pushed past him to pick up his cup from the side table next to the couch. When he saw Annie cowering behind Finnick, clutching at the back of his T-shirt, he almost felt bad.

Then he felt a small, surprisingly strong hand on his shoulder as someone forcibly pulled him around to face them. With her left hand still yanking Peeta to face her, Johanna Mason swung high with her right fist and caught him hard on the eye. His hand came up to cover his eye out of shock more than pain, though there certainly was a lot of that as well, and he stared at her normally intimidating face which was now made to look completely terrifying thanks to her fierce glare.

"I don't care who the fuck you are or how she feels about you," Johanna growled. "No one makes my best friend cry."

She made another fist and started to swing up towards his face. When Peeta leaned his face away, Johanna grinned for just a second before bringing her knee up to his exposed groin.

He hit the ground, his hands moving to cover and protect his crotch a moment too late, and was unaware of anything for the next couple of minutes except for the painful shock vibrating through his whole body. He thought he might throw up. When he opened his watery eyes, coughing, Johanna was gone and Finnick was kneeling next to him, sympathy in his gaze.

"You're being a total dick tonight, but you don't deserve that, brother. No one does," Finnick said, offering a hand to help him up.

Wordlessly, Peeta waved him away, curling up on his side. He just wanted to lie there on the cool basement floor for a few more minutes. Finnick seemed to understand, for he got up and disappeared from Peeta's line of sight. He closed his eyes again and heard Annie whisper something to Finnick. He wished she would leave. It was humiliating enough for him to lie there alone after being sacked in the balls, and even worse to have Finnick there trying to help him out after Peeta had been such a jerk to him. But to have Finnick's new girlfriend watch him try not to cry while clutching his dick protectively? That was just awful.

He heard the sound of a drawer opening, and then a door opening and closing. A moment later, a cold weight was dropped carefully on his chest, a safe distance away from his pained crotch. Peeta cracked an eyelid and looked down to see ice bundled in a white dishcloth from the basement kitchen. He removed one hand from his groin and took the bundle, drawing it down to his aching crotch slowly with a pained groan.

They didn't make a sound, but he knew Finnick and Annie were still there, watching him; he could feel their presence. Not without a great deal of effort, Peeta slowly pushed himself up so that he was sitting against the wall, legs bowed out to the sides slightly, and turned to face them, still holding the ice to his injury. For a moment, Peeta stared at Finnick and Annie as the two of them stared back at him. Then, Peeta cleared his throat.

"Did Jo say I made Katniss cry?" he asked gruffly, his voice thick with pain. Finnick didn't say anything, but he saw the affirmation in his pitying green eyes. Next to him, Annie nodded hesitantly. Peeta closed his eyes, feeling like the dick everyone told him he was being as a huge wave of regret washed over him, and let his head fall back against the wall with a thunk. "Fuck. Me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos on this story so far! I appreciate it so much!  
> I originally planned on this story only being seven chapters long, but that has since changed. I'm not sure how many it'll be now, but definitely more than seven.  
> As always, you can follow me on tumblr if you like. I'm ilikewatchingyousleep! Talk to me! :)


	6. 6

Katniss woke feeling surprisingly well-rested on Saturday morning. With all that had happened at Finnick’s party, that awful argument with Peeta that had culminated in humiliating tears, she had expected to lie awake in bed for quite some time. However, instead of crying herself to sleep, she had fallen asleep almost as soon as she got home and didn’t wake up until almost ten AM, which was unusual for her. Most weekends, she was awake at six, just like on schooldays.

 

She rolled out of bed and got to her feet, placing her hands on her lower back and pushing her shoulders back and hips out, stretching her body awake. Rolling her neck from side to side, Katniss made her way out of her room into the living room where her sister was watching TV.

 

“Morning,” Prim said, glancing up at her over the bowl of cereal in her lap. “How was the party? You got home way earlier than I thought you would.”

 

Katniss groaned. “It was awful. I was only there for like half an hour before I bailed.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Peeta Mellark.” Katniss flopped down on the couch next to her sister and let her head loll back against the back of the couch.

 

“Uh oh.” Prim raised her left eyebrow, pursing her lips. “What did he do now?”

 

“I don’t want to get into it right now. Let’s just say it was bad, okay?” Katniss looked over at her sister, who nodded, looking happy to not just be completely dismissed. She felt a surge of affection for Prim and scooted closer to her to wrap her arm around her. “Sorry I’ve been kind of unpleasant toward you lately.”

 

“It’s okay.” Prim shrugged and smiled softly. “You’ve been really messed up over Peeta. I get it.”

 

“Yeah.” Katniss sighed. “But still, I’m gonna try to be kinder to you, okay? You’re pretty great, Prim.”

 

“Thanks!” Prim beamed up at her. Katniss smiled and ruffled her hair a little as she shoved herself to her feet. Prim scowled up at her and looked so much like Katniss in that moment that she surprised a laugh out of her older sister, who stopped suddenly and cocked her head when she remembered Peeta saying that Prim had been a bitch to him.

 

“Hey. You know, Peeta actually said something about you last night.” Katniss watched Prim closely. “Did you guys talk yesterday or something?”

  
“Oh. Well, we may have exchanged a couple of words,” Prim said evasively. Katniss cocked an eyebrow at her and Prim sighed. “He tried to talk to me and act like his being an ass to you had nothing to do with me. As if. I have to watch you be sad all the time. How is that not going to affect me?” Prim scowled at the memory and Katniss felt guilt clawing its way into her belly; she had certainly never intended to upset Prim this past week. “So, I ignored him and then called him an asshat for ignoring you and complaining when it happened to him.”

 

“Prim.” Katniss stopped, took a deep breath, and then beamed at her little sister. She threw herself back down on the couch and wrapped her arms awkwardly around Prim, trying not to knock over her cereal. “You are officially the best kid sister ever.”

 

“Thanks!” Prim beamed, looking pleasantly shocked. “So, you’re not mad at me?”

 

“What? No.” Katniss pulled back and regarded her sister before tilting her head to one side, considering. “I mean, you probably shouldn’t have said that to him, but I really appreciate that you did.”

 

“Well, as long as you’re not mad at me for it, I’m happy I did it.” Prim gave one short, sharp, decisive nod of her head that had Katniss smiling at her.

 

“Why did you say that to him, though?” The thought of Prim saying anything even mildly unkind to anyone was hard for her to swallow, and Katniss knew that Prim had always been really fond of Peeta. She must have been really upset to tell him off like she did.

 

“Because it’s true. And because he hurt you and it made me mad at him that he could make you so sad and then try to talk to me like he wasn’t breaking my big sister’s heart.” Prim picked idly at the cereal in her lap as she met Katniss’ gaze with soft, caring eyes. “Like it shouldn’t hurt me to see you hurt.”

 

“Yeah, you’re definitely a great little sister,” Katniss said after a moment, clearing her throat against the emotion blocking her throat. “Now I’m going to fix myself some cereal so I can park myself right next to you.”

 

“Careful. Mom and Dad are in there.” Prim made a mildly disgusted face at her. “They’re being very… _affectionate_ today.”

 

“Thanks for the warning,” Katniss said as she made her way to the kitchen. She paused just inside the kitchen, eyes covered, and knocked lightly on the wall. “I’ve been warned that you guys are feeling frisky this morning. Is it safe to enter?”

 

Katniss heard two chuckles and peered hesitantly through her fingers. Her parents were sitting side-by-side at the kitchen table, looking up at her.

 

“Someone’s in a better mood than she has been,” her dad said as Katniss stepped further into the kitchen and shrugged. “I guess the party was good, then?”

 

“Uh, not so great, actually.” Katniss opened the pantry door and stared up at the top shelf where the cereal was stocked. Nothing looked particularly appetizing, but she figured she should still probably eat _something_.

 

“What happened?” her mom asked from behind her and Katniss shrugged noncommittally.

 

“Just some stupid drama,” she said. _Really stupid drama. Stupid, stupid Peeta Mellark._

 

“Did you stay long?” Her mother sounded way too casual.

 

“No.” Katniss stood up on the tips of her toes and stretched her arm as far as she could to reach the box of Cheerios. Box in hand, she turned to face her parents, raising an eyebrow at their expectant looks. “I got home around ten-thirty.”

 

“Oh!” Her dad nudged her mom lightly with his elbow. “I told you I heard her coming in. I think I won our bet.”  

 

Her mom giggled and slapped his arm away from her. Katniss wrinkled her nose at them and carried her cereal to the counter. She didn’t think she wanted to know the terms of their bet. Prim was right; they were being sickeningly adorable today.

 

“So, what kind of drama was there?” her dad asked.

 

“Oh. Um. Well, I guess you could say that things got worse with Peeta last night.” Katniss didn’t look around, instead focusing her attention on reaching for a bowl from the cabinet next to the sink, but she sensed her parents’ shared concerned glance. “It’s fine, though. I’m fine.”

 

She had been saying it all week but somehow, today, after the situation had grown ever more complicated, she truly meant it. She had come to terms with the fact that she had done nothing wrong; all of this drama was Peeta’s doing and it wasn’t helping for her to be constantly blaming herself and prodding at him to talk to her. Plus, he was a total jackass at the party and Katniss wasn’t sure she even wanted to be with him anymore after their fight in the basement if that was how he was going to act every time he got insecure. She was pretty sure she was going to start making her best effort to just get over him.

 

“Well, you sure seem to be fine?” Her dad’s voice pitched up, unintentionally, Katniss knew, at the end and she finally turned to face her parents, looking at them expectantly.

 

“You were very upset all week.” Her mother’s voice was patient and soothing, like she expected Katniss to take offense at her obvious statement, but Katniss just nodded. “Why are you suddenly fine?”

 

“Not that being fine is a bad thing!” her father was quick to insert. Her mother nodded quickly.

 

“I just realized that it isn’t the end of the world if Peeta doesn’t want to talk to me.” Katniss shrugged as the doorbell rang. “I mean it still makes me sad, of course, but it’s okay. I’ll get over it. I’ll get over _him_.”

 

The doorbell rang and Prim’s voice rang out from the living room, “Someone get the door! I’m eating!”

 

Katniss rolled her eyes and started to leave the kitchen, but her dad stood up and motioned for her to relax. He pressed a kiss to her head as he passed her and murmured, “That’s my girl.”

 

“So, do you want to talk about what exactly happened with Peeta last night?” Her mom watched as Katniss pulled the refrigerator open and got the milk out.

 

“Not really,” Katniss answered as she walked back over to the counter, pausing before pouring her milk to look up when her father re-entered the kitchen, followed by a young man who almost looked like he could be her father’s son with his dark hair, olive skin, and grey eyes that matched Katniss’ and her father’s. “Gale. Hey.”

 

What was Gale doing at her house? He had texted her last night right around the time Finnick’s party was starting and asked her to hang out, then had invited himself along when she told him she already had plans. She had been surprised at his forwardness, but even more shocked when he barely spoke to her for the short amount of time they were all together, instead bestowing most of his attention on the pretty, blond Madge. When Johanna had followed Katniss out of Finnick’s house and brought her home, Madge and Gale were nowhere to be found. She wondered if his unannounced visit had anything to do with that.

 

“Hey, Catnip,” Gale said easily, sending her a small smile before he turned to her mother. “Hi, Mrs. Everdeen. How have you been?”

 

“I’m just fine, Gale.” Her mother’s eyes were just slightly wider than usual, the only sign that she was surprised to see her daughter’s one and only ex-boyfriend standing in her kitchen, but her smile was genuine. “It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

 

“Oh, I’ve been great, ma’am.” Gale leaned a shoulder against the wall as Katniss’ dad slipped past him to make his way back to the table.

 

Katniss met her dad’s eyes and he raised his eyebrows at her in a slightly suggestive expression. Katniss scowled at him and rolled her eyes as Gale turned back to study her.

 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go for a hike today,” he told her. Katniss finally took in his outfit: his faded, worn jeans, scuffed up hiking boots, and a plain grey T-shirt that almost matched the shade of his eyes. It was his typical hiking outfit, she knew; they had done a lot of hiking when they were dating.

 

“Um. Sure.” Katniss glanced down at her long, tattered, purple and pink striped pajama pants that she only owned because they had been a Christmas present from Prim several years ago, and the oversized white T-shirt she had thrown on over them. She cleared her throat and blushed lightly. “I just need to get dressed.”

 

“Sure. I’ll wait,” Gale said as Katniss nodded and slid past him, dashing through the living room to her room.

 

Prim giggled behind her back, obviously under the impression that Gale’s presence had her all flustered, but Katniss ignored her.

 

She was honestly just mostly excited at the prospect of going for a hike. She hadn’t been getting nearly enough fresh air lately and she figured a nice, long, quiet walk through the woods with a nice, quiet friend who wouldn’t push her to talk about anything was a good way to clear her head. As much as last night had led her to the conclusion that there was nothing for her to do to get Peeta to stop being such an ass to her, she had to admit that she still wasn’t completely at peace with the fact.

 

Although, she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little curious about Gale’s sudden reappearance. They had agreed to remain friends after they broke up, and they had kept in touch well enough, but Katniss hadn’t seen Gale since the summer since he’d been away at college and spent all of his time with his family when he was in town. There had to be some reason for the fact that this was the second time in as many days that he had shown up to hang out with her. For some reason, she couldn’t shake the thought that it had something to do with Madge.

 

When Katniss emerged from her room less than five minutes later in a pair of old jeans, a green T-shirt, and her favorite pair of brown hunting boots, Gale was in the living room talking to Prim.

 

“…that you should tell her,” he was saying as she walked up. Prim’s eyes widened as she looked at Katniss and shook her head.

 

“What’s up?” Katniss looked between the two of them as Gale turned around and saw her.

 

“Oh, good! You’re dressed. Ready to go?” he asked. Katniss nodded. “Cool, come on.”

 

“Alright. Should I grab some food? How long will we be?” Katniss never did fix that cereal she had planned on eating and she was sure her stomach would start protesting before too long.

 

“No, I got food and water in the truck.” Gale gestured toward the front door and Katniss nodded.

 

“Good. Let’s go.” Katniss paused to let Gale lead the way outside.

 

“See you later, Prim.” Gale’s voice took on a teasing tone as he opened the front door and Prim blushed as she nodded curtly. Katniss eyed her sister curiously, but Prim carefully avoided her gaze. Gale noticed her confusion when he turned to wait for her to close and lock the front door and he laughed. “So I may have just found out the other day that she’s kind of dating my little brother.”

 

“Rory?” Katniss’ mouth dropped open and she had half a mind to go back inside and demand the details from her little sister, but Gale turned and started walking out to his truck, so Katniss had no choice but to follow or be left behind.

 

“No. Vick. The ten-year-old,” he deadpanned as he unlocked his truck and climbed in, reaching across the bench seat to unlock the passenger door. “Of course Rory. He said she told off some guy on your behalf yesterday.”

 

“Ah. Yeah.” Katniss tugged with all her might to open the tricky door, situated herself in the passenger seat and fastened her seatbelt. When she looked up, Gale had started the truck, but was just sitting there watching her expectantly. She sighed. “‘Some guy’ would be Peeta Mellark.”

 

“Peeta?” Gale looked, and sounded, completely surprised as he pulled away from the curb, which told Katniss that he wasn’t surprised at all as Gale’s look of true surprise was usually just one raised eyebrow and puckered lips as the corners of his mouth pulled inward. “I thought you guys were best friends.”

 

“Apparently not anymore.” Katniss smiled knowingly at him across the middle seat. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

  
Gale dropped his surprised act and shrugged. He never was one to keep trying the same tactic when he had been caught. “Madge may have suggested that your disappearance last night could have had something to do with Peeta.”

 

“ _I_ disappeared? Funny, I didn’t see you guys anywhere when I left.” Katniss crossed her arms over her chest. Gale glanced at her and sighed.

 

“Yeah, well. I don’t know.” He shrugged helplessly and then faced forward again to watch the road.

 

“Uh huh.” Katniss rolled her eyes. He was never very good a diverting unwanted attention, but he was usually stubborn enough that most people gave up trying to get him to talk when he didn’t want to. The only problem was that Katniss was just a stubborn as him. She knew they were both going to end up cracking the other sooner or later. So much for a quiet, peaceful walk through the woods.

 

“She was pretty worried about you.” Gale said after a moment as he pulled onto the narrow gravel road that led to the trailhead they were heading for. “Mellark’s being a real dick, then?”

 

“Eh, yeah.” This time was Katniss’ turn to shrug. “I guess so.”

 

“What happened?” Gale angled his truck off the road and parked a few yards away from the trailhead. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned to look at her expectantly.

 

“What, didn’t Madge tell you?” Katniss forced the door open and jumped out of the truck to escape his gaze.

 

“Har, har.” Gale paused for a moment to pull a brown back pack out of the narrow space behind the front bench seat, then hopped out of his truck and came around the front to meet her.

 

“Fine. We’ll compromise,” Katniss said as they made their way toward the path side-by-side. She glanced up and over at Gale to make sure he was listening. He raised his eyebrows as he met her gaze. “I’ll tell you about Peeta if you’ll tell me about Madge. Deal?”

 

Gale paused and was silent for a moment as he contemplated her proposal; he sighed. “Deal.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Katniss saw the familiar car in front of her house the second Gale turned his beat-up truck onto her street several hours later, and her heart began to beat a quick, nervous drum in her chest. The driveway was empty, and Katniss guessed her parents had probably taken Prim out for a late lunch, or to see that superhero movie she had been begging them to take her to see lately. Gale turned to look at her as he rolled to a stop behind the car, recognizing the form sitting hunched over on her porch.

 

“You gonna be okay?” Gale’s eyes were narrowed on her face, his mouth taut with concern.

 

“Yeah.” Katniss glanced past him to see Peeta watching them dolefully from where he sat on the top step of her porch.

 

“You can do this, Katniss.” Gale reached out and patted her bracingly on the shoulder. “Just don’t take any shit from him, make sure he hears you out, and _try_ to hear him out, too.”

 

“Wise words, Hawthorne.” She reached for the handle and braced her shoulder on the rusty door to shove it open. She hopped out of the cab and turned around to send Gale a smile that felt more like a grimace on her lips. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“See you.” Gale smiled reassuringly as Katniss swung the door shut. He rolled his window down as she crossed in front of his truck, speaking quietly when she passed by him. “Good luck.”

 

Katniss nodded at Gale over her shoulder and slowly picked her way up the paved path towards her front door, and Peeta. He stood as she approached and she heard Gale’s truck thundering away down the street behind her.

 

“Hey.” Peeta rubbed the back of his neck, angling his head down toward the ground as he toed at a crack in the cement at his feet, but his gaze was slanted up toward her, a hesitant and apologetic expression on his face.

 

She had half a mind to just walk right past him and pretend she hadn’t heard him –give him a taste of his own medicine– but her heart constricted in her chest and her stomach did some familiar loops when he peered up at her like that. Plus, Gale’s advice was pretty fair; she should probably at least consider following it. She sighed and bit the inside of her cheek as she stopped a few feet in front of him and stared at her feet. “Hi.”

 

She couldn’t keep her gaze trained away from him for long –she never had been able to– and found herself looking up at him again after far too short a time. Peeta looked pleasantly surprised that she hadn’t hit him or walked right past him, but no less nervous than before. “Um. Can, um…” He cleared his throat when Katniss raised an eyebrow at him, her lips pressed firmly together. “Can we talk?”

 

A wry smirk stretched her lips as she considered the irony of the moment. She had been asking him to talk to her for a week and had been steadfastly ignored and now here he was asking to talk to her. It was tempting to tell him that the time for talking had past, but Gale’s words echoed in her mind: _Try to hear him out_. Plus, as he had surprisingly pointed out to her on their hike, it hadn’t even been a week since this fiasco had started. Gale hadn’t exactly defended Peeta, but he had certainly taken a diplomatic stance on the situation and tried to see the situation from both angles. She took a deep breath to calm herself; she didn’t want to make any hasty, proud decisions and end up regretting her choices.

 

“Okay,” she ended up saying with a shrug as if it didn’t matter to her. The shamefaced look on Peeta’s face told her that he at least had an idea about where her thoughts had been, but he sent her a tight smile when she accepted his overture.

 

She considered sitting down on the top step where Peeta had sat to wait for her, but it was really hot out and she was thirsty, damn it, so she swept past him to unlock the front door and gestured for him to follow her inside. Without pausing to see if he was coming, Katniss walked quickly to the kitchen and fixed herself a glass of water.

 

Hearing Peeta’s heavy footfalls entering the room, she hesitated, then got down a second glass and filled it with cold water from the filtered pitcher in the refrigerator. Turning around, she placed the second glass of water on the kitchen table and then sat down across from it, watching Peeta hover uncertainly in the doorway over the glass that she raised to her lips.

 

After a moment, Peeta walked haltingly to the table and sat down in front of the water she had fixed for him. He wrapped a hand around the condensation-coated glass and made a quick spasming motion with his mouth that Katniss thought was probably intended to be a smile. For a moment they just stared at each other across the table, then Peeta lifted his glass and took a huge gulp, probably just for something to do.

 

“Thanks.” His voice was hoarse despite the water he had just drunk. He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the table, opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again and forced himself to look at her. “So, I guess I just wanted to let you know that I know I was a complete asshole last night and that I haven’t been fair to you this past week. And I’m sorry.”

 

“Okay.” She picked at a small crack beginning to form in the old wooden table for a moment. When she looked up, Peeta was watching her despondently. “Um, thanks for saying that.”

 

“Sure.” Peeta nodded. “You deserved an apology.”

 

Katniss agreed, but she thought it might be poor taste for her to say that, so she said nothing, but met his gaze slightly less awkwardly.

 

“And I guess I should explain some things to you.” His voice went up in pitch towards the end of his statement so that it was more of a question than a statement, but Peeta didn’t wait for her to give any sort of answer before he started talking. “I kept telling my dad and Finnick all week that I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone was thinking about everything, but the truth is that I’ve been avoiding thinking about it because I was afraid that maybe what happened on Sunday meant two different things to us and then I guess I avoided you because I wasn’t ready to have that confirmed. Which was really flawed logic because it meant that I also could never have my fears disproved. Also, it was a really shitty way to treat you because, regardless of your motives on Sunday, you still deserved acknowledgement if for no other reason than that you’re my best friend.”

 

Katniss’ eyebrows rose minutely when he addressed her as his best friend. Was she still his best friend? From the slightly shy smile that Peeta sent her, she figured that he still considered her as such, and was wondering if she still thought of him in the same way.

 

“So, that leads us to what it meant to me, doesn’t it?” he continued after a slight pause. “Um, we’ve been best friends for a real long time and I would be lying if I said that I had never acknowledged, to myself, at least, the fact that I am insanely attracted to you. But I always tried to ignore it because I thought it was just simple attraction and I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship over something I could pretend I didn’t feel. But when you kissed me, um, I realized that I’m not just attracted to your body. I’m attracted to everything about you. Literally, _everything_. Your smile, your laugh, your stupid sarcastic comments, the fact that you can’t do math without constantly tapping your pencil and distracting me.”

 

Peeta’s gaze was intense and passionate on Katniss and she felt her heart skip in her chest. If he would have just told her this a week ago, they could have avoided all the drama of the past week.

 

“I realized that I _like_ you, Katniss. A lot. More than I’ve ever liked anybody.” Peeta dropped his gaze to his hands and he started drawing a pattern in the condensation on his glass with his finger. “So when you said that you, um, you only kissed me because you were bored…”

 

“I didn’t say that.” Katniss blushed when Peeta looked up at her disbelievingly. She shouldn’t have interrupted him, but she couldn’t let him keep thinking that. “I never said _only_ , Peeta.”

 

“Okay. Right. That’s true. So. So, when you said that you were bored…” Peeta paused and raised an eyebrow at her, but Katniss had no objection to his correction. She had said that, damn her stupid mouth. “Okay, when you said that, I guess it made me think that was the only reason you did it, which made me think that maybe you were just attracted to me physically. And that hurt me because that was what I had been trying to avoid doing to you, um, risking our friendship just to have some fun.”

 

Katniss wondered if it was her turn to explain herself now, but Peeta glanced up at her through his long, pale lashes in a pleading gesture. “Can I keep going? I kind of just want to explain it all now.”

 

She nodded and Peeta took a deep breath.

 

“Alright. So, I thought you just wanted to make out with me for purely hormonal reasons, I guess. And, well, Finn and my dad both suggested otherwise but, like I said before, I was too afraid that I was right and they were wrong to just ask you. So I made a totally stupid decision and avoided you and ignored you and just… hurt you. And I am sorry.”

 

Peeta looked across at her with such sincerity that Katniss felt her hands trembling to reach across and take his hand, tell him that she understood and that she forgave him. But she couldn’t do that yet. She was still confused, and hurt, and Peeta still wasn’t finished talking. And, truthfully, she didn’t forgive him, not yet, at least.

 

“And then last night. Oh God, last night.” Peeta groaned and dropped his head in his hands. “I don’t think I can apologize enough for last night. That was exponentially worse than an entire week of avoiding you. I don’t even know why I said half the things I said. But, um, so I saw you there and I thought about going to talk to you, but then I saw Gale. And I just got really jealous.”

 

“Gale and I are just friends, Peeta.” She knew that she had agreed to let him explain without interruption but, just like his misinterpretation of what she had said to him on Sunday, she couldn’t let this one slide. Even though she knew she wasn’t ready to even think about dating Peeta right now, she couldn’t stand the idea of him thinking she was with anyone else, especially Gale.

 

“Yeah. Okay.” Peeta nodded, biting his bottom lip, and Katniss knew he didn’t truly believe her.

 

“Really.” She should probably just let it go. What did it matter if he thought she was interested in Gale? He was probably just here for closure, anyway, but she couldn’t help herself. “He’s dating Madge now, apparently.”

 

“Oh.” Katniss saw the question in his eyes, but wasn’t sure if he was wondering how that happened or why she had been with Gale this morning if that was the case. She felt a twinge of frustration at the fact that he was still doubting her.

 

“Yeah, that’s why we were hanging out today, so he could break the news about him and Madge,” Katniss said, leaving out the part where they had first talked about Peeta for over an hour. She silently vowed not to discuss Gale anymore, and just let Peeta get on with his explanation. “Anyway, go on.”

 

“Ah, right. Um.” Peeta paused and drummed his fingers on the tabletop as he visibly racked his brain, probably trying to remember where he had left off. “So, I was jealous. And then I started drinking and then I started thinking these really stupid thoughts about you and Gale and… well, and myself. And, well you know the rest.”

 

Katniss nodded, but didn’t say anything because she knew Peeta and she knew he wasn’t finished yet.

 

“Look, I’m really sorry about all the shit I said. Especially about Prim, that was completely out of line. And I’m sorry I got stupid and tried to fight Finnick in front of you. I know for a fact that I scared Annie, so I probably freaked you out too.” She had been scared for a minute there, but mostly because Peeta was drunk and Finnick was getting so frustrated and angry with him that she was sure Peeta was about to get his ass kicked. Peeta may have been the best wrestler at school, but he was really uncoordinated and clumsy when he was drunk, and Finnick had gotten himself into enough fistfights, and won them all, to prove his competence. “But, most of all… I’m sorry I made you cry.”

 

Katniss froze. He knew she had left crying? She had been so sure that she’d fled the basement before he could see the tears gathering in her eyes. The last thing that Katniss wanted was for Peeta to know how badly his words and attitude had hurt her last night. It would be better if he just thought she was angry with him. But if he knew she had left crying, then he already knew just how hurt she was. Katniss never cried, and Peeta knew that.

 

“I don’t… What?” she stammered, her heart racing in her chest.

 

“Um, Johanna may have mentioned it. She… had some choice words for me after you left the basement.” Peeta winced, but Katniss didn’t bother wondering why. She was too preoccupied with the fact that Peeta knew she had cried over him. Damn it.

 

“I didn’t… That wasn’t…” She didn’t know why she was so reluctant to admit that she had cried. It wasn’t as if she was afraid of his reaction to the news. In fact, it seemed that her tears had been exactly what had spurred him to come here and finally talk to her. It was just sort of a point of pride for her; tears made her feel weak and embarrassing, especially if other people witnessed them.  

 

“Kat, please. It’s okay.” Peeta covered her hand with his own across the table, and then withdrew it immediately when he remembered that they didn’t have that kind of friendship, not anymore, not thanks to him. “I just wanted to apologize for the fact that I hurt you so bad. I didn’t mean anything that I said. I guess I was just… I was still hurt, so I hurt you too. I realize now that I should have just talked to you about it from the start and none of this would have happened.”

 

Katniss waited for a few long seconds, but Peeta didn’t say anything more, just stared at her. She sighed and hunched her shoulders as she stared down at the floor.

 

“I’ll apologize for the fact that I said something to hurt your feelings last week,” she said slowly, “but I need you to know that it was unintentional. I was joking and I didn’t realize that you would take me seriously.”

 

“Thank you,” Peeta said quietly. “I’m sorry I overreacted.”

 

Katniss had the feeling that he was waiting for her to say something more, something specific, and she finally realized that he still didn’t know what had been going through her mind when she had kissed him.

 

“Uh, and now, uh, I guess,” she started haltingly, then stopped and took a deep breath. “I guess you want to know why I kissed you.”

 

Peeta didn’t say anything. When she finally tore her gaze from the floor and looked at him, he shrugged in an indifferent sort of way, but she saw the truth in his eyes. He was dying to hear her explanation.

 

“I kissed you because…” Nerves had her throat constricting and she couldn’t speak, could barely breathe. She coughed once, then cleared her throat and felt her face heat up as Peeta watched her closely. Still, she was proud of herself when she didn’t break his gaze again. “I’ve liked you for years,” she confessed. Maybe even loved, but she wasn’t going to say that.

 

The way his eyes immediately went huge would have been comical if she wasn’t so worried she was going to start sweating through her shirt. Not that it would have made much of a difference as she had been sweating for three hours on her hike with Gale, but it would still be embarrassing to start again here in her cool kitchen. After a moment of gaping at her, Peeta groaned and dragged his hands through his hair and dropped his forehead heavily to the table. Both of their glasses jumped a little as the table jolted at the sudden impact; Katniss was sure that his head must be hurting, but Peeta didn’t seem to mind.

 

“I had no idea,” he said hoarsely when he lifted his head to look at her again, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he looked at her sadly. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips. “I fucked everything up.”

 

Katniss stayed silent and stared back at him as her heart settled back to a steady pace.

 

“How did I not know?” Peeta groaned. “God, why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

“I thought I was telling you when I kissed you.” Katniss shrugged and Peeta nodded slowly. He knew she wasn’t good with words; she had always preferred doing things rather than saying them. Peeta didn’t seem to know what to say, so Katniss took a deep breath and kept speaking. “When you broke up with Leevy, I decided I should probably try to win you over before you got another girlfriend. I spent months trying to get you to kiss me. When you almost did on Sunday, then backed off, I figured I’d just… go for it. It didn’t exactly have the desired effect.”

 

Peeta grimaced apologetically at her, then dropped his gaze and glared at his water. Katniss could practically hear the awful things he was thinking about himself. While she personally felt that he deserved at least a _little_ beating up, she still hated to see him beating himself up. She cleared her throat again to get him to look at her. When he did, he looked about ten years older, his face etched in misery and regret.

 

“I probably shouldn’t have followed Finnick into the basement…” She let her voice fade away as she tried to think of where to go from here. She didn’t really know what she was saying. “I knew you would be an asshole. You hadn’t been ignoring me for no reason.”

 

“I just needed time to…” For one brief second, Katniss could see the spark of self-defense light up his face before he trailed off and the regret came rushing back.

 

“I’m not saying it’s wrong that you needed time to think, but I don’t think it was too much to at least want an assurance that you would be willing to talk to me _eventually._ ” She didn’t want to make him feel worse, but there were things she needed to say to him. Sometimes, words were more effective than actions; she was learning that.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I should have told you I just needed space. I’m sorry.” Katniss was pretty sure she hadn’t heard Peeta apologize as much in ten years as he had in the past half hour. But then, he usually wasn’t an asshole. “Can, uh… I mean, is it… I… Is there any way that I’ll ever get another chance?”

 

“What kind of chance?” Katniss said carefully. If he meant a second chance at their friendship, that was one thing, but if he meant another chance to try to move past friendship, she needed to do some thinking.

 

“A chance to be with you.”

 

“I don’t know.” It hurt Katniss to say; she had wanted him for so long and here he was, asking if they could ever be together and she couldn’t tell him yes. She just couldn’t pretend the past week hadn’t happened.

 

“I know I messed up!” Peeta said quickly. “I know I have to make it up to you. And I will. I promise. I will make it up to you whether or not you think you’ll ever let me be more than just a friend to you. But I want to know… I need to know… if holding onto the hope for a relationship with you is useless.”

 

“I just…” Katniss bit her lip. She really wanted to tell him that she would give him another chance in time, but she didn’t know if she would be able to do that. “I don’t know if I can trust you to not freeze me out again the next time I put my foot in my mouth.”

 

Because she would put her foot in her mouth again, there was really no getting around that.

 

“I won’t.” Peeta’s voice was low and sincere and it sounded more like he was making a vow than trying to reassure her. It made her heart and mind race, but she shook her head to clear it. Now was not the time to allow herself to be swept away; she needed to think logically.

 

“But how can I know that?”

 

“I promise I won’t do that to you again, Katniss.” Peeta reached out and took her hand in his again, but this time he didn’t draw away awkwardly. Katniss’ skin almost burned where he made contact. “I can’t promise I’ll never misunderstand your intentions, but I will always hear you out from now on. I swear it.”

 

“Peeta.” Katniss sighed. She closed her eyes against the mesmerizing force of Peeta’s sincere, pleading blue eyes so that she could concentrate. “I can’t promise, but maybe… _maybe_ we can try. In the future.”

 

“Thank you.” Peeta beamed when Katniss opened her eyes. He didn’t let go of her hand, even when she tried to draw back. Instead, he held on tight and smirked at her. “Although I do think you should take into consideration that a nutshot is a very serious punishment. Very painful. I’ve probably already paid my debt ten times over.”

 

Huh? Katniss felt her eyebrows contract as she stared at him. Why was he suddenly joking about nutshots?

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Johanna.” He said it simply, matter-of-factly, as if a name was explanation enough, but it just made her even more confused. What did Johanna have to do with anything?

  
“What about her?”

 

“Oh my God. You don’t know.” Peeta’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he released her hand. He rested his forehead in his palm and groaned quietly. “Well, now I wish I hadn’t brought it up.”

 

“Well, you did. So explain, please.” Peeta sighed and closed his eyes.

 

“Johanna kind of kicked my ass last night after you left… crying.” He grimaced, whether at the memory of the ass-kicking, or the idea of her crying, she wasn’t sure. “Well, actually… she aimed a well-placed knee to my groin. I was down for at least ten minutes.”

 

“Jesus Christ!” Her mouth dropped open of its own accord and she unwittingly glanced downward towards his crotch, though she couldn’t actually see anything through the table. She didn’t know why she was so surprised; Johanna had even told her at school that she, Katniss, should kick Peeta in the balls. She had just never expected Johanna to actually do it herself. She glared at the air behind Peeta, imaging Johanna standing there to feel her wrath. “I had no idea she did that. Are you okay? She had no right to do that!”

 

“I’m fine.” Peeta shrugged, then smiled at her. “Even if I weren’t, the fact that you’re concerned for me right now would definitely make me feel better.”

 

“Well, I guess I still really care about you, no matter how big an asshole you can be.” Katniss blushed and dropped her gaze again.

 

“I care about you, too, Katniss. A whole lot.” His soft voice drew her attention back to his earnest face. There was a pregnant pause as neither of them could apparently think of a thing to say as they watched each other. After a minute, Peeta cleared his throat and spoke in a more normal tone. “And I swear I am going to make this up to you, and I am going to win you over again.”

 

“Peeta…” Katniss trailed off when he grinned at her again.

 

“Just giving you your fair warning,” he told her and slapped his hands over his knees as he sighed and looked around. “Okay, well I think I need to go sort things out with Finnick now.”

 

He stood up and Katniss jumped to her feet after him.

 

“Yeah, that would be a good idea,” she said. “He didn’t bring me down to confront you. He didn’t even know I was following him. That was my own bad idea.”

 

Peeta didn’t say anything, but his face grew pinched again and she knew he was once again beating himself up over his actions the night before. He nodded and they turned to walk to the front door.

 

“I’ll see you later, Katniss.” Peeta paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned to look at her. He looked like he wanted to say, or do, something. When his gaze flickered to her lips, she knew he was wishing he could kiss her.

 

She cleared her throat and he averted his gaze. “Bye, Peeta.”    
  
Peeta smiled at her quickly and opened the door; she closed it as soon as he walked through, but then rushed to the front window to watch him walk down the front walk. She watched as he got into his car and drove away, then turned to her phone with a scowl.

 

She and Johanna needed to have a little chat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So. They finally talked, huh? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I know the past few have been pretty rough, chapter five in particular. It’s all uphill from here, though! :)
> 
> While Katniss is pretty cautious, Peeta is one determined boy, so you know she’ll have problems holding out against him.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and for all of the kudos, subscriptions, and comments so far. I truly appreciate it all. Also, I would like to thank you guys for actually liking the last chapter and being kind in your comments. Lol. Some people on fanfiction.net weren't the most supportive of the last chapter, so the really great reviews here really helped me get through this chapter. Also, on that vein, I just wanted to say that I read and appreciate all of your reviews, even if I don't reply. I just don't like replying on here because it just counts my reply as a review and I feel weird basically doubling my review count with my own responses. Haha  
> As always, you can follow me on tumblr. I’m ilikewatchingyousleep. Feel free to talk to me! I actually just got my first ask about WaHtS earlier today, and I guess it inspired me to finish up the chapter! Lol.  
> Thanks, all!


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